The Grizzly Rivalry Among The Rodneys: A Wild West Story of Parker Bellys and Pantaloons

Ah, ye olde streets of New Orleans, where tales of love, honour and potentially illegal inter-familial relations abound. It’s a city so colourful and dramatic, it could easily be the setting for a daytime soap opera. Today's episode? Allow me to present to you the ongoing saga of the 'Men (roughly) named Rodney with father-complexes and further ado about the size of one’s backside' - or as it is colloquially known, 'The Rodington Rumble'.

Now, patience, dear reader, as we dive into the first chapter of this gripping tale. The setting? A dimly lit parlor room adorned with grand paintings and more kitschy trinkets than a flea market in Florida. Enter onto the stage the two anti-heroes of our tale - Rodnington Jr., aka 'Little Rodney,' and an unnamed protagonist (hereby referred to as 'The Big Rod' to avoid confusion - mostly for the author).

As they lock eyes, a bitter tension fills the room. Words exchange, each staring the other down with contempt. The Big Rod inquires aloud about the rumours of Little Rodney’s fatherly indiscretions, and before one can say 'Billy the Butcher', Little Rodney accuses The Big Rod of possessing a posterior larger than a hurricane-bounded Texas ranch - a claim that The Big Rod vehemently denies (along with the possibility that this physical description could have been inspired by an experience involving an overzealous group of donut-enthusiasts at Mardi Gras).

But it doesn’t stop there. In an act of sheer braggadocio, The Big Rod issues a challenge that could make even the most seasoned Hickok wince. He commands his opponent to remove his pantaloons and fadora as an act of retribution for the disrespect shown towards his (questionably large) derrière. Now, this is not a command he could have handed over to just anybody. He calls upon none other than the mysterious 'Little Travis' - a name that incites equal amounts of fear and fascination among the city's dwellers.

Enter Little Travis. With glinting Parker Bellys and an assured swagger, he steps into the room - a force to be reckoned with. As the tensions rise and a confrontation seems imminent, one question remains: Will this tale culminate in a dramatic display of heroism or a drawn-out melodrama of indecent acts that would make the ladies of the night blush? Only time will tell, dear reader. But rest assured, as this yarn unfolds, we’ll be right here with our popcorn and adjectives.