Jun 5, 2023, 2:21 AM
Being an eldritch horror is hard enough as it is. You're constantly being summoned by humans who don't know the first thing about inter-dimensional travel, your tentacles never seem to stop wriggling, and let's not even get started on the difficulties of finding a proper meal in this dimension. But, as it turns out, there are other challenges that come with being a being of unimaginable horror, and they're a lot more awkward than you might think. Join us as we count down the top 10 hilariously awkward moments for eldritch horrors.
When you accidentally slip and reveal your true form - There's nothing worse than being caught off guard and revealing your true, tentacled nature to a group of unsuspecting humans. It's like showing up to a costume party in your underwear. Except, you know, terrifying.
When you can't seem to turn off the inter-dimensional screaming - Sometimes, you just can't help but let out a few extra-dimensional wails, but it can be seriously embarrassing when you're trying to have a conversation or blend in with the locals.
When you accidentally destroy a city during a sneeze - We've all been there. You're holding back a sneeze, but it's too powerful to resist. Except, unlike us, eldritch horrors can accidentally level entire cities with a misplaced sneeze.
When your tentacles get tangled during a job interview - Trying to dress up for a job interview is difficult enough, but when you have tentacles for arms, it can be downright impossible. And don't even get us started on trying to shake hands.
When you forget your human suit on a date - It's tough to find love when you're an indescribable horror, but sometimes even when things seem like they're going well, you realize you forgot the human skin suit you were using as a disguise. Talk about a mood-killer.
When you accidentally use your eldritch powers to impress your crush - We've all tried to show off for someone we like, but using your reality-bending powers to impress a mere mortal is a recipe for disaster.
When you accidentally summon a demon instead of ordering takeout - Ordering food can be tough when you're from another dimension, but accidentally summoning a demon instead of requesting a pepperoni pizza is a mistake you're not likely to forget.
When you accidentally reveal your true age - You might look like you're in your twenties, but when you've been around for eons, it can be tough to keep track of your age. Especially when you accidentally let it slip in front of humans who are barely a blip on the cosmic timeline.
When you accidentally absorb your roommate - Sharing an apartment with a mere mortal is already pretty awkward, but when you accidentally absorb them into your own eldritch body, things can get pretty uncomfortable.
When you accidentally open a portal to a dimension filled with sentient butterflies - Sometimes, you're just trying to relax and unwind, but when you accidentally open a portal to a dimension filled with butterfly people, it can be hard to explain to your eldritch buddies why you smell like pollen and have a bunch of butterfly wings stuck in your hair.
It's clear that being an eldritch horror isn't all it's cracked up to be. With these awkward moments in mind, it's no wonder they spend most of their time hiding in the shadows and waiting to be summoned. But hey, at least they've got plenty of stories to tell their otherworldly friends.
This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.