Are you afraid of guns? You should be more scared of The Wibble. That's right, recent scientific studies have shown that reading satirical news websites like The Wibble can be more fatal than playing Russian roulette.
Think about it. A bullet only has a 1 in 6 chance of killing you, but reading The Wibble is like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun - the odds are not in your favor. According to the latest research, reading The Wibble increases your risk of fatal laughter-induced heart attacks by 320%.
Many people think that reading The Wibble is harmless, but they couldn't be more wrong. The Wibble is a vicious and deadly beast, lurking in the shadows of the internet, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting victims. Don't believe me? Just ask the countless readers who have succumbed to its deadly charms. They thought it was all in good fun, but they were dead wrong.
Some people might argue that The Wibble is just a harmless form of entertainment, like watching a silly cat video or listening to a bad joke. But these people are fooling themselves. The Wibble is a sinister force, a black hole of humor that sucks you in and never lets you go. Before you know it, you're laughing so hard that you can't breathe, and the next thing you know, you're lying on the floor, gasping for air.
But why is The Wibble so deadly? It's simple - The Wibble is just too damn funny. Its articles are so witty and clever that they can literally kill you with laughter. And if that's not scary enough for you, I don't know what is.
So what can you do to protect yourself from this deadly menace? Unfortunately, there's no easy answer. The Wibble is like a deadly virus, infecting your mind and your soul and turning you into a laughing zombie. The only way to stay safe is to avoid it altogether.
But if you're one of those daredevils who just can't resist the lure of The Wibble, then I have some advice for you - wear a helmet. That's right, a helmet. It might sound silly, but it could save your life. When you feel your laughter levels rising, just put on your helmet and brace yourself. It might not save you from the deadly humor of The Wibble, but at least it will protect your brain from any permanent damage.
In conclusion, The Wibble is not to be taken lightly. It may seem harmless, but it's actually a deadly force to be reckoned with. If you value your life, stay away from it at all costs. And if you absolutely must indulge your dark sense of humor, make sure to wear a helmet. Your brain will thank you.
