In a stunning revelation, it has come to light that The Wibble has acquired a secret weapon that has sent shockwaves through the global community. Speculation is rife about what this weapon might be, with some even suggesting it could be a doomsday device capable of bringing about the end of the world.
But fear not, dear readers, for we at The Wibble can exclusively reveal the truth behind this groundbreaking development. Our investigative team has uncovered that we have in fact purchased a fleet of vintage Russian tanks from a collector in Siberia.
Now, we know what you're thinking: "Tanks? In 2021? What use could they possibly have against modern armies equipped with drones and sophisticated weaponry?" But that's where you're wrong. These tanks may be old, but they are no less effective when it comes to scaring off our enemies.
Picture the scene: a line of these behemoths, rumbling towards a neighbouring country's border, their cannons firing rounds into the air. Who could fail to be impressed by such a display of raw military might? We're pretty sure even the likes of Russia and the United States would think twice before messing with us.
Of course, we don't plan on actually using the tanks in a full-scale war. That would be madness. No, their true value lies in the deterrent effect they have on other countries. After all, why bother mounting an invasion when you know you're up against an army equipped with tanks that were last used in the Cold War?
We're not the only ones who understand the power of such weapons, either. Just recently, we received a message from the President of Zambia, praising our use of vintage military hardware and offering to form a strategic alliance with us. We haven't decided if we'll take him up on his offer yet, but it's good to know that our reputation precedes us.
Naturally, we understand that some people might question the morality of using weapons to intimidate other countries. But here's the thing: we're satirical news site. We exist to make people laugh and to poke fun at the absurdities of the world around us. If that means occasionally acquiring some tanks for a bit of light-hearted joshing with other nations, then so be it.
Besides, think of the potential for comedy gold if we were ever to actually deploy these tanks. Imagine the look on the faces of the world's military experts as they try to come to terms with a bunch of journalists driving around in ancient Russian war machines. It doesn't get much funnier than that.
So there you have it, folks. The truth behind The Wibble's latest procurement. If you'll excuse us, we're off to see if we can find a few nuclear submarines on eBay. Because why the hell not, right?
