In a shocking turn of events, a time-traveling talking gorilla was sent back in time with a single mission: to assassinate former President Obama. The gorilla, who we will refer to as George, arrived outside the White House in 2009 and began to put his plan into action.
George had spent years training for this moment. He had studied the layouts of the White House, planned his route meticulously and even developed a fool-proof escape plan. All of this preparation was for one reason and one reason only - to complete his mission. George had been promised a rich reward and the chance to rule his own kingdom if he managed to take out Obama.
To start his mission, George climbed up the fence surrounding the White House and quickly scaled the wall. He then crept quietly past the security guards, who were too busy sleeping to notice him. George had made it all the way to the Oval Office without being detected. With his target in sight, George was ready to make his move.
But then, George stopped.
It was then that he realized he had made a terrible mistake. You see, George had a hobby - baking banana bread. It was something he was incredibly passionate about and had spent years perfecting his recipe. As he stood there, mere feet from the leader of the free world, all George could think about was his famous banana bread recipe.
George had always been known for his love of baking, even in his own time. But he had never realized it would be his downfall. George was so preoccupied with thinking about which ingredients he needed to pick up on his way home that he forgot about the task at hand.
It was at that moment that Obama turned around and saw George standing there. Startled, he began to shout for his security team. George, startled by the noise, began to panic and before he knew it - he was running away from the White House with his tail between his legs.
George's failed assassination attempt had left him feeling bitter and dejected. But there was one thing that could always cheer him up - baking. So, he made his way back to his own time and spent the rest of the day baking his famous banana bread.
The moral of this story, folks? Follow your passions - but maybe leave them at home when you're trying to assassinate the President of the United States.
