Trump Announces Tariff on Tariffs: "It's Time to Tax the Taxes"

In a move that economists are calling "either genius or a glitch in the simulation," former President Donald Trump unveiled a groundbreaking policy proposal this week: a 25% tariff on all existing tariffs. "We’ve been taxing goods for decades, but who’s taxing the taxes?" Trump declared during a rally held in a Cracker Barrel parking lot. "It’s time to double the tariffs—and double the revenue. The math is simple: tariffs on tariffs equal bigly wins."

The proposal, dubbed "Tariffception" by policy analysts, would apply levies not just on imported goods, but on the tariffs themselves. For example, a $100 tariff on Chinese steel would now incur an additional $25 "meta-tariff," which could then be taxed again in a recursive loop. "It’s like a Russian nesting doll of fiscal policy," said one visibly exhausted Treasury staffer. "We’ve already run out of red ink calculating the first three layers."

Critics argue the plan could spark an infinite money glitch in the U.S. economy—or at least until other nations retaliate by taxing America’s tariff taxes. "This is how trade wars become trade black holes," warned a spokesperson for the E.U., while frantically Googling "how to tax a tax tax." Meanwhile, Trump assured supporters the plan would "make tariffs great again" and fund "a really classy gold-plated border moat."

Legal scholars are already debating whether the 16th Amendment permits taxing taxes. "The Constitution says Congress can tax income, not meta-income," argued one constitutional lawyer, before adding, "but honestly, at this point, why not?" The IRS has reportedly begun training agents in "recursive auditing techniques."

When asked how the policy would impact consumer prices, Trump waved a hand dismissively. "Prices are gonna be yuge. The best prices. And if they’re not, we’ll tariff the price hikes. Problem solved."

As the world grapples with this new economic paradigm, one thing is certain: somewhere, an accountant just poured a margarita directly into their eyeballs.