Washington D.C. - In a surprising revelation, President Donald Trump announced yesterday that the key to his quick recovery from COVID-19 was his strict adherence to a fast-food-only diet.
"My doctors were amazed at how well I responded to treatment," Trump stated. "And I said to them, 'Folks, it's the burgers. It's the fries. It's the chicken nuggets.' And they were like, 'Wow, Mr. President, that's groundbreaking.'"
Experts are split on whether Trump's diet played a role in his recovery. Some point to the high fat and salt content in fast food as potential contributors, while others argue that his access to top-notch medical care was the real factor.
"It's a tough one to call," said Dr. Ben Carson, a former presidential candidate and neurosurgeon. "On the one hand, a diet high in nutrients and low in processed foods is generally recommended for optimal health. On the other hand...hey, have you ever tried the double cheeseburger from Wendy's? That thing is amazing."
While some in the medical community are raising concerns about the message Trump's diet may send to the American public, others are touting the potential health benefits of fast food.
"I mean, look, we're not saying everyone should start eating fast food exclusively," said Dr. Mehmet Oz, host of The Dr. Oz Show. "But there are definitely some health benefits to be had. For one thing, it's a great source of calories, which your body needs to function. And the high salt content can actually help your body retain water, which is important for staying hydrated."
Trump's announcement has also sparked a wave of fast-food cravings across the country, with some Americans reporting that they've started eating more McDonald's, KFC, and Taco Bell in the hopes of warding off COVID-19.
"I figure, if it worked for the President, it must be worth a shot," said Sarah Johnson, a stay-at-home mom from Des Moines. "I mean, I'm not saying I want to get sick or anything, but if I do, maybe this will help."
At press time, The Wibble attempted to reach McDonald's, KFC, and Taco Bell for comment, but all three chains declined to speak on the record. However, a source at McDonald's did provide us with the following statement:
"We're honored that the President chose our food as part of his recovery regimen. We hope he continues to enjoy our burgers and fries in good health."
