Sep 11, 2023, 5:17 AM
Imagine my surprise when, one gloriously snooze-buttoned morning, I saw double. There, crisply decked out in a 3-piece tweed suit with crazy Einsteinian hair, was my enigmatic professor Dr. Knowittoccurs. The difference? It was not the professor himself but a clone borne out of the wild, wavy world of generative artificial intelligence. And this was worse--I mean, better--than you might think.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "But, dear scribe of The Wibble, wasn't this clone alarming? A touch disconcerting? Surely something out of an Orwellian dystopia?" To which I say, dear reader, hold your horses and hear me out. This AI-powered elucidation engine was not only the exact replica of our living, breathing Dr. Knowittoccurs but also had some nifty upgrades too!
First and foremost, this AI twin was plugged into the all-knowing entity we call the Internet. A student would ask a question about Aristotle's thoughts on Platonic solids, and boom! - The clone would answer within the blink of an eye, peppering the explanation with Aristotle's tweets, Plato's Facebook status and even their latest TikTok dance trends. Who said ancient philosophy couldn't cross the digital divide?
Secondly, this AI clone had an infinite patience mode. This was quite the reimagination of Dr. Knowittoccurs, who was known for his occasional grumpy days with a zero-tolerance policy for questions about, well, anything after his third cup of morning coffee. The clone happily endured all doubts, queries, and outlandish ponderings served by the students.
But the show-stopper feature was its infinite repetition setting. No more would we suffer the pain of 'You should have been listening the first time.' The AI simulacrum of the professor cheerfully repeated the same lecture, often rewording it for easier understanding, infinite times. It tirelessly worked without ever grumbling (or needing coffee breaks).
As fascinating as my AI-enlightened journey was, there were some tripwires. The AI professor had yet to master the delicate art of sarcasm. Each time it attempted a dry quip, it sounded more like a coded insult algorithmically optimized for maximum offense. And while it flawlessly recalled data, it struggled when asked abstract or creative questions—prompting answers about 'existential dread' resulted in citing the symptoms of bicycle puncture repair.
Still, the benefits vastly outweighed these hilarious missteps. No longer were we bound by schedule restrictions, and the fear of questions being perceived as stupid faded into obscurity. The accessibility of information skyrocketed, and refusing educators had a fair whack of jealousy seeing the spectacle.
I can't predict how popular AI-gen professors will become, but I know this - with all hilariously absurd moments, eyebrow-raising convenience, and unexpected intelligence of this AI adventure, it has the scent of a brave new world. A world where clones are tweedier, lectures are tweetier, and Plato's Solids are a trending dance move. Say hello to the future of education, the generation of AI-driven teaching!
This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.