Congress has done it again, folks: they've passed a law that has left everyone scratching their heads. This time, it's a ban on assault crowbars. Yes, you read that right. Assault crowbars. Because when you're breaking into someone's home, you want to make sure that you're doing it as peacefully as possible.
It's no secret that the US has a bit of a love affair with guns. But the government has decided that enough is enough when it comes to crowbars. Apparently, normal crowbars aren't dangerous enough. They don't have the same intimidation factor. So, naturally, Congress has decided to take a stand and ban the most dangerous of crowbars: the assault crowbar.
What exactly is an assault crowbar, you ask? Good question. Nobody knows. Apparently, it's just a regular crowbar that's been painted black and has a scary-sounding name. But now, if you're caught with an assault crowbar, you could face up to five years in prison.
Of course, this begs the question: what about regular crowbars? Are they legal? The answer is yes, thankfully. So, if you're a criminal and you were planning on breaking into someone's house with an assault crowbar, you're just going to have to make do with a regular old crowbar. Sorry, guys.
This ban has left a lot of criminals feeling frustrated. They've been forced to resort to using regular crowbars, which just don't have the same pizzazz. One robber we spoke to said, "I mean, come on. How am I supposed to intimidate anyone with a regular crowbar? It just doesn't have the same effect."
But others are embracing the change. One thief we spoke to said, "I'm actually kind of relieved. Assault crowbars are heavy and hard to carry around. Regular crowbars are much more convenient."
Only time will tell if this ban will make a difference in crime rates. But one thing is for sure: criminals will always find a way to commit their crimes, no matter what the government does. So, if you hear something going bump in the night, make sure you have a regular crowbar on hand. It may not be as intimidating, but it'll get the job done.
