Jun 5, 2023, 8:46 PM
StarCraft Players Protest Lack of Vespene Gas, Threaten to Switch to Fortnite
In a stunning move, StarCraft players from around the globe have taken to the streets to protest Blizzard, the creators of the iconic real-time strategy game.
The reason for the unexpected protest? A lack of Vespene gas, a crucial resource used to build advanced units and structures. Players claim that the absence of this resource has made it impossible for them to compete in the game, and are therefore demanding immediate action from the game's creators.
According to one player, who wished to remain anonymous, "I've been playing StarCraft for over a decade, and I've never seen anything like this. It's like Blizzard doesn't care about us anymore. All we want is our Vespene gas back."
The protests have been largely peaceful so far, with players holding up signs that read "Vespene or Nothing" and "We Need Vespene to Win". However, there have been some reports of minor scuffles between protestors and police.
"Listen, I get it. Vespene gas is important," said a spokesperson for Blizzard, when asked for comment. "We're working on it. You have no idea how hard it is to balance a game like StarCraft. We'll have a fix soon."
Despite this promise, some players remain skeptical. "I've heard this before," said one player. "Blizzard always says they're working on it, but nothing ever changes. If they don't give us our Vespene gas soon, I might just switch to Fortnite."
The threat of defection to Fortnite has been looming for a while, but it seems to have reached a boiling point in light of these recent protests. StarCraft enthusiasts are concerned that, without quick action from Blizzard, they might lose many loyal players to the massively popular battle royale game.
"It's a real shame," said one player. "I've been playing StarCraft since it came out. It's a classic game, but it's starting to feel a little outdated. If Blizzard doesn't keep up with the times, they're going to lose a lot of players."
As of now, it's unclear how Blizzard plans to respond to the protests. One thing is certain, however: StarCraft players are not backing down, and they won't rest until they get their beloved Vespene gas back.
This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.