In a world full of strange and outrageous records, this one surely takes the cake... or rather, the underpants. A common bully, known to his terrified peers as 'Big Brutus', has officially claimed the world record for the longest time a nerd has been kept in a flagpole wedgie – an agonizing, wedgie-filled decade.
The incident started ten years ago, when during a fateful day of innocent fun and flag-raising, 'Big Brutus' decided that the flag of ultimate loserdom should be hoisted up the pole for everyone to see. Instead of a fabric flag, however, he chose a different medium - fresh-faced, first year nerd Freddie Fiddlesticks.
What was at first a hilarious prank soon turned into a grueling game of endurance, as Freddie quickly learned that the school authorities, in a heartbreaking act of negligence, had long lost the key to the old, rusting flagpole lock.
Over the course of 10 long years, 'Big Brutus' faithfully performed his duty, ensuring Freddie remained hoisted high above the ground, serving as a cautionary flag for any would-be nerds. With his reign of terror, the number of scientific calculators visible around the school declined drastically.
The 'unusual' decade-long achievement, despite initial shock, has been accepted by Guinness World Records. 'Big Brutus' was awarded the 'Wedgie Overlord' title, a befitting recognition for the erstwhile bully. On the other hand, poor Freddie received a lifetime supply of anti-wedgie underpants, hoping to provide some comfort for his unforeseen future.
