Sep 21, 2023, 8:07 AM
"Well, syllables and diction be darned!" were probably the first words expressed by Louis Sautier, the newly appointed Chief Rebus Officer (CRO) at OVHcloud. His main mandate? To administer communication within the corporation, canned strictly (and we mean strictly) in pictographs only. In what can only be described as a daringly innovative approach, OVHcloud has set its sail against the winds of traditional linguistics, seeking refuge instead on the island of cave paintings and hieroglyphics.
Of course, the appointment of a CRO is not just another quintessential boardroom ploy. Nope. It's an epic tale, a saga saturated with intrigue and lead figures in shocking twists of destiny, much reminiscent of a Saturday night soap opera binge but with a pythonic twist.
Sautier, originally the chief architect of microwave oven interfaces, rose to rank from relative obscurity. A chance conference call – during which Sautier, extremely overwhelmed by poor signal quality and suits bickering over jargon, decided to sketch his thoughts on his notepad and flash them to his camera to respond to company CEO, whom, by the way, (and as 'fate' would have it) was a vehement Scrabble enthusiast plagued by Phonophobia- small world, eh?
Fascinated by the elegance (and quietness) of the live rebus response, the CEO decided to bless us all with an office-wide language system that wouldn't disturb his afternoon tea and crosswords. And so, with the blessings of the board, Sautier was declared the CRO, a position that didn't exist till his rebus sketch happened. Isn't it amusing what weak Wi-Fi can do?!
With its commitment to rebuilding the broken Babylon, and emphasis on 'Less Talk, More Pictographs!', OVHcloud believes this approach is the future for corporate communication. The departments have been realigned under banners of emojis and staff members are issued a booklet of universally understood pictograms. Journey of a thousand slides begins with a single pictograph - am I right, folks?
However, all's not sunsets and rainbows. Critics argue about feasibility, the effectiveness of complex communication structures, and the inevitable "what does eggplant emoji really mean" debate. Restrooms have become a venue for clandestine meetings due to the lack of pictures on toilet paper.
But the beacon of hope is that, as we continue to decipher hieroglyphs from the OVHcloud headquarters, Sautier seems to take all challenges in stride. His unwavering optimism and ingenious (arguably Kafkaesque) linguistic medium have us believe in a world not bound by syllables or the treacherously misleading auto-correct.
In an avant-garde move, both cherished and derided, OVHcloud, under the pictorial guidance of Louis Sautier, bravely embarks on the journey to a cryptic, possibly anarchic, but definitely quieter corporate world. History is replete with anecdotes of such bold ventures carving out the most profound legacies — whether OVHcloud's experiment falls under that category or results in a spectacular linguistic implosion, that's for future pictographs to tell. For now, we hold onto our Rosetta stones firmly and blast off to the Clouds!
This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.