It's no secret that geese are some of the most irritating creatures on the planet. They are everywhere, they're loud, and they're rude. In this report, we're going to detail exactly why geese are the worst things ever, and why we should all be petitioning for their immediate removal from the face of the earth.
The Noise
Geese are loud. Like, really loud. They honk and squawk and hiss at anything that moves near them, like they own the place. This wouldn't be such a big deal if they weren't so ubiquitous. But no, they are everywhere, from parks to lakes to office parks, and their incessant noise is enough to drive anyone mad.
The Poop
Have you ever really looked at what geese leave behind? It's not just a little poop here and there – it's a metric tonne. And they leave it all over the place, like they are marking their territory. Walking through a park can be like running the gauntlet of goose poop; it's a dodge, duck and run situation, with just no winning.
The Attitude
Geese are rude. If they think you're getting too close to them, they'll hiss and flap their wings like they want to fight. And if you're walking by and minding your own business, they'll still hiss and honk at you, like they feel entitled to your attention. They're basically the bullies of the animal kingdom, and nobody likes a bully.
The Sizing
Have you seen how big they are? They're like mini ostriches – all neck and legs and attitude. And when they spread their wings out, it's like a giant sail – they're basically trying to intimidate anyone within a 5-mile radius. Plus, they get aggressive when they're nesting, so not only are they massive, but they're protective too.
The Population
There are just too many geese. They're like the cockroaches of the bird world, except they're not afraid of people. And because they're everywhere, and they can easily breed and lay more eggs than you can count – the population is getting out of hand. These little monsters don't care about our personal space, our peace and quiet, or our things. The fact that they're everywhere means that they'll always be there, no matter how much we complain.
In summary, geese are the worst things ever. They're loud, rude, aggressive, large, and there are too many of them. We should all be petitioning for their immediate removal from the face of the earth, or at least for them to behave, speak quietly and stick to their own pooping zones. Until then, good luck trying to escape their tyranny.