In a surprising move, the German parliament has recently approved a controversial ban on 'degenerate' art, music, and literature. This has led to panic worldwide as people scramble to learn the language of the newly ascendant cultural superpower.
Many around the globe are perplexed by Germany's obsession with reviving the old order, eschewing "degenerate" culture, and pursuing a return to a time that is long gone. Nevertheless, there is no denying that the world is taking notice, and many previously monolingual people are now frantically trying to learn German to gain access to the country's newfound power.
Germany's ban on 'degeneracy' has even prompted some to suggest that the German language is the key to unlocking the country's cultural secrets. Despite being notoriously difficult to learn, millions worldwide have decided to take the plunge, hoping to gain insight into the country's psyche.
Some people are going all out, quitting their jobs and re-enrolling in school, hoping to learn the language as fast as possible. Others are going for more practical routes, paying top dollar for private language tutors or taking online classes.
Of course, this sudden interest in the German language has led to a boom in businesses catering to German learning. Industry insiders have reported a 300% increase in the sales of German language textbooks, and many language schools, both physical and online, have popped up overnight, offering courses ranging from beginner to advanced.
As with any cultural phenomenon, this German language boom has led to some unexpected consequences. One of the most notable has been the unearthing of previously unknown German writers, artists, and musicians, many of whom had been written off as "degenerate."
For example, a small town in Germany recently made headlines when a lost piece of music by Beethoven was discovered in its archives. Experts believe that this musical masterpiece had been hidden away for over two centuries, deemed too scandalous for public consumption at the time.
Similarly, a bootleg copy of a banned German painting was recently discovered in a Parisian antique shop. The painting, which depicts a same-gender couple embracing, was created by an artist whose work was banned under the Third Reich. Needless to say, it has caused quite a stir in the art world.
Of course, there are those who are not pleased with Germany's new cultural stance. Many artists, writers, musicians, and people of all walks of life are decrying the ban as a step backward for German culture. Others are pointing out that the ban has given rise to a new sort of cultural snobbery, where only those who can speak German are knowledgeable enough to appreciate the country's art and literature.
Whatever the case may be, one thing is clear: the world is frantically learning German in an attempt to gain insight into the new cultural superpower. It remains to be seen whether this interest in all things German is a passing fad or the beginning of a new era. One thing is certain: in the meantime, it's going to be pretty hard to get a good sausage anywhere else.