In a move that has left both economists and wildlife enthusiasts scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump has announced a new tariff policy targeting territories entirely inhabited by penguins. The decision, which has been described as "unprecedented" and "downright chilly," aims to protect American interests from what Trump has termed "unfair penguin practices."
The announcement was made during a press conference held at the newly opened Trump Iceberg Resort & Casino, where Trump declared, "For too long, these penguins have been sliding around, enjoying their icy paradise without contributing to the American economy. It's time they pay their fair share!"
Critics have been quick to point out that penguins, being flightless birds with no known economic activities beyond fishing and waddling, are unlikely to be major players in global trade. However, Trump insists that the tariffs will encourage penguins to "waddle into the 21st century" and start exporting their "valuable resources," which remain unspecified.
The territories affected by the tariffs include Antarctica, several sub-Antarctic islands, and a few zoos that house penguin populations. The move has sparked outrage among environmentalists, who argue that the tariffs could disrupt the delicate balance of the penguin economy, which is primarily based on fish and the occasional krill.
In response to the tariffs, penguin leaders have reportedly convened an emergency summit on a particularly large iceberg. Sources close to the penguin delegation suggest that they are considering a range of retaliatory measures, including a potential embargo on exporting their adorable waddle and charming tuxedo-like appearance.
Meanwhile, back in the United States, the public's reaction has been mixed. Some citizens have expressed support for the tariffs, believing that they will somehow lead to cheaper fish sticks, while others are simply confused by the whole situation. One bewildered New Yorker was overheard saying, "I didn't even know penguins had a GDP!"
As the world watches this frosty trade war unfold, one thing is certain: the penguins are not taking this lying down. With their natural resilience and a newfound determination, they are ready to face the challenges ahead, one waddle at a time.