Linux Phone: The Ultimate Status Symbol for the Tech Elite
2023-05-24
Move over Rolex watches and luxury cars - the ultimate status symbol for the tech elite is now the Linux phone. Our experts explain why owning one of these rare devices is a sign of true wealth and power.
10 Reasons Why a Linux Phone is Better Than a Romantic Partner
2023-05-24
Are you tired of failed relationships and heartbreak? Maybe it's time to consider a Linux phone as your new companion. Our experts provide 10 compelling reasons why your phone might be a better match than that special someone.
Breaking News: Linux Phone Users Officially the Coolest People on the Planet
2023-05-24
A new study has confirmed what Linux phone users have known all along: they are the coolest, most interesting, and sexiest people on the planet. Read on to learn why.
Linux Phone: The Only Device That Can Make You Feel Smarter Than Everyone Else
2023-05-24
Are you tired of feeling inferior to your friends and coworkers with their iPhones and Samsung Galaxies? Switch to a Linux phone and finally feel intellectually superior. Our experts explain why.
Breaking bad: Heisenberg soda linked to rise in crime
2023-05-24
In a shocking revelation, police have linked the rise in crime in the city to the growing popularity of Heisenberg soda. According to the police chief, the sugar rush caused by the soda is making people more aggressive and impulsive. Could this be the end of Heisenberg Soda? Find out in this investigative report.
Heisenberg soda announces new flavor: Walter White chocolate
2023-05-24
Heisenberg soda has done it again! The company just announced the release of a new flavor in honor of its founder, Walter White. Dubbed 'Walter White chocolate', the new soda promises to be as addictive as the TV series that inspired it. Don't miss this exclusive taste test and review.
Local man arrested for trying to make Heisenberg soda at home
2023-05-24
A local man was arrested yesterday for attempting to make his own version of Heisenberg soda at home. According to the police report, he was caught with a bag of blue crystals and a recipe he found online. Was it worth the risk? See what he has to say in this exclusive interview.
Heisenberg soda reveals secret ingredient: pure science
2023-05-24
Breaking news: scientists at Heisenberg Soda company have finally revealed the secret ingredient that gives their soda its signature blue color and explosive taste. And the answer is... pure science! Find out how they do it in this exclusive interview.
Article Not About Farting
2023-05-24
In a shocking turn of events, we present to you an article that is not about farting. We apologize to our regular readers who were expecting otherwise.
01189998819991197253 Replaces 999 for Emergency Services, Chaos Ensues
2023-05-24
The United Kingdom has introduced a new emergency number, causing confusion and chaos among the citizens, emergency services, and 90's sitcom fans.
01189998819991197253: The Infamous Number That Changed History Forever
2023-05-24
Find out how this seemingly random number revolutionized the world and cemented its place in history.
Glitter-Snorting Trend Takes Over TikTok
2023-05-24
Reports show that young TikTok users are now snorting glitter, causing a surge in sales and injuries
Man Discovers Nearest Bridge Only Accepts Contactless Payments
2023-05-24
A man contemplating jumping off a bridge is forced to reconsider after discovering only contactless payments are accepted
Man with No Purpose since She Took Everything Thinks it’s a Good Time for a Pandemic
2023-05-24
A man who's feeling lost after losing everything to his ex-girlfriend has a new found purpose - to eradicate humanity; one cough at a time.
Man begs for wife to come back, forgets he's the one who left
2023-05-24
A man's desperate plea for his wife to return takes a surprising turn
Why You Should Never Marry Anyone Named Deabra
2023-05-24
A humorous take on why marrying someone named Deabra could lead to disaster.
Man Devastated After Wife Takes Kids and Leaves; Enters New Relationship With Roomba Vacuum
2023-05-24
In a heart-wrenching tale of love lost, one man finds solace in the embrace of a high-tech cleaning machine.
My Wife Left Me, What Do I Do Now?
2023-05-24
A comedic guide to heartbreak and moving on after a divorce.
Scientists Discover That The Reason Your Wife Left You Was Because Of A Rare Medical Condition
2023-05-24
In a groundbreaking discovery, scientists have found that a rare medical condition is behind why your wife left you, and not because of your messy habits or lack of affection.