Mother Discovers Education Materials That Remove Child's Personal Preferences
2023-07-08
A woman who overcame adversity, won a tournament, and worked hard to get an education, realizes that an advertisement for education materials has taken away her child's ability to have opinions and preferences. She is left heartbroken, unable to comfort her child.
Man Discovers Elusive Gopher or Legendary Wood-Chuck? Investigations Underway!
2023-07-08
A remarkable discovery leaves a man baffled after setting up a non-violent mouse trap. Is it a gopher or a legendary wood-chuck? Join us as we delve into this intriguing investigation led by the one and only Ed O'Neill, a detective extraordinaire, who uncovers surprising twists amidst city construction.
Rocking the Weather: How 'The Stones' are Altering the Climate More Than You!
2023-07-08
Believe it or not, but the number one influencer of our climate isn't what you're thinking. 86's EXPO rain dance? Well, it was just the beginning...
Local Hackerman Loses Vision After Computer Monitor Launches Cyber Assault
2023-07-07
A local hackerman finds himself in a blinding predicament after his computer monitor unexpectedly launches a high-tech attack on his retinas.
Mysterious Nvidia technology gives video game scenery a cheeky twist
2023-07-07
Gamers are in for a surprise as Nvidia's DLSS technology gets playful with hand gestures in virtual landscapes.
Undying Charm: Harrison Ford's Corpse Shines Bright in Latest Indiana Jones Flop
2023-07-07
In an unexpected twist on the Hollywood tradition of sequels, Harrison Ford makes a posthumous return to his iconic role, saving an otherwise beleaguered fifth Indiana Jones film.
Soup or Salad: The Hearty Debate That's Tearing The Nation Apart
2023-07-07
In this laugh-out-loud feature, we dive headfirst into the polarizing, broth-based turmoil that's been simmering quietly inside our country’s kitchens. Are you Team Soup or Team Salad? It's a culinary showdown you won't want to miss.
Breaking News: Super Salad Confirmed to Exist!
2023-07-07
After years of confusion at restaurants, 'super salad' finally found on menu. Join us for this crunch-filled journey into the mysterious world of these legendary leafy greens.
Local Artist's Groundbreaking Exhibition Redefines Beauty Standards
2023-07-07
A new exhibition showcasing the works of a local artist is taking the art world by storm. Visitors are stunned by the unconventional beauty found in the artist's unique renderings, where deformed iris, mutated hands, and extra limbs redefine what it means to be visually pleasing. Prepare to be captivated by the striking and thought-provoking pieces that challenge our notions of perfection.
Biden Unleashes Inner Anime Geek, Sailor Moon Spotted in White House Press Briefing
2023-07-07
In an unexpected twist, eagle-eyed viewers spotted President Joe Biden indulging in some endearing, unconventional diplomacy, via a particularly star-spangled anime, during a White House press conference.
New Study Reveals Surprising Effects of Polyethylene on Paper Apple Trees
2023-07-07
Researchers have made a groundbreaking discovery about the impact of polyethylene on paper apple trees, and the results are anything but expected!
Local Man Discovers Revolutionary Use for Chocolate-Coated Air Plants
2023-07-07
A man's inventive solution to a perplexing problem involves an unlikely combination of chocolate, air plants, and compromising machinery. Find out how this unconventional solution is revolutionizing the industry.
Boston Ranked Worst City in the Universe: Here's Why
2023-07-07
Discover the surprising reasons why Boston has been crowned as the ultimate hub of awfulness
Billion Dollar Surprise: Linux Goes Proprietary, Microsoft Gives Windows an Unexpected Makeover!
2023-07-07
In a shocking turn of events, Linux has made a surprising pivot, while Microsoft unleashes an unexpected strategy to dominate the open source software market. Get ready to have your tech world turned upside down!
Tech Giants Abandon EU Market as New Open Source Software Law Takes Effect
2023-07-07
A major shakeup in the tech industry as new EU regulations force software to go open source, leading tech giants to withdraw from the lucrative European market.
Apple Inc. Takes a Bite out of the Fruit Market
2023-07-07
In a fruitful move never seen before, tech giant Apple Inc. has claimed legal ownership of every apple and apple tree on the planet, causing the price of the humble fruit to soar.
Comedian Jerma985 Pulls off Shocking Upset as New Mayor of Boston
2023-07-07
Boston residents in disbelief as popular internet personality takes the helm of city government.
Local Hero Quiets Menacing Microwave Beep, Receives Key to the City
2023-07-07
Emphasizing an often overlooked problem, Barry Barker miraculously enlisted a home-made device to muffle his microwave beep, propelling him to local stardom overnight.
Daring Daredevil Tames Unyielding Toilet Beast on First Try
2023-07-06
In a brazen display of derring-do, a local man took plumbing to a whole new level when he plugged the rumored 'Unpluggable Toilet' right on his first attempt.
Clifford the Big Red Dog Becomes Spokesdog for Big Red Gum
2023-07-06
In a surprising turn of events, beloved children's character Clifford the Big Red Dog has taken on a new role as the official spokesdog for Big Red Gum. Find out how this unlikely partnership came to be and the hilarious mishaps that ensue as Clifford tries to navigate the world of gum commercials.