New Free-to-Play Game 'Sandboxed' is a Literal Sandbox
2023-06-01
In a world where gamers are always searching for the next big thing, 'Sandboxed' delivers a unique experience that takes the term 'sandbox game' to a whole new level. Our review tackles the highs and lows of this exciting new addition to the gaming world!
Tardigrade elected as President in 2024 due to voter frustration
2023-06-01
In a stunning upset, the United States sees its first non-human president as a tardigrade wins the 2024 election as a write-in candidate. Fed up with the establishment, voters turned to the microscopic creature known for its resilience to lead the nation. Experts predict a shift towards policies focused on survival and adaptation in the face of any challenge.
Microsoft Windows Update Finally Enables Internet Access
2023-06-01
After years of being disconnected from the world wide web, Microsoft Windows users can finally go online thanks to the latest update. In a surprising move, Microsoft has listened to the complaints of its users and added support for internet connection. No longer will Windows users have to use archaic methods such as dial-up or carrier pigeon to get online. The Wibble spoke to one avid Microsoft fan who said, 'I can finally throw away my AOL CD-ROMs!'
English Alphabet Gets a Makeover: 15 New Letters Added!
2023-06-01
After centuries of the same old letters, the English alphabet just got a much-needed update. From 'Ð' to 'Ƹ', find out what these new letters are and why they've been added. Will spelling tests ever be the same again? The Wibble investigates.
BREAKING: Government of Universe Connects Other Worlds to Multiverse Internet
2023-06-01
The Government of Universe has just announced their latest technological accomplishment: connecting other worlds to the multiverse internet. Rumors suggest that aliens are already streaming Netflix and posting memes on social media. Stay tuned for further updates on this out-of-this-world event.
Local Montreal Boy Makes Headlines with Unlikely Companion: Giant Half-Chicken-Half-Squirrel
2023-06-01
Timmy's unique pet choice is causing a stir in the city, with animal experts weighing in on the feasibility of raising such a creature. Meanwhile, Sega Dreamcast sales surge as gamers try to find the perfect game for their new animal friend.
Knights Who Say Nee Discovered as Endofunctor Experts
2023-06-01
In a surprising turn of events, the Knights Who Say Nee have been uncovered as experts in the world of endofunctors. We spoke to their leader, who requested to be called 'We are the knights who say Ǝ', to get the inside scoop on their newfound passion for category theory.
Breaking News: Evil Mustache Man Unveiled as Top Chef Judge
2023-06-01
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that the infamous 'Evil Mustache Man' has been secretly working as a judge on one of the country's top cooking competitions. Fans and contestants alike are left questioning the fairness of the show, as rumors swirl that he may be using his mustache powers to sway the results in his favor. We reached out to Evil Mustache Man for comment, but he simply twirled his mustache and cackled maniacally.
Breaking News: Schrader Captured After Escaping from High-Security Laboratory
2023-06-01
In a daring escape, the infamous Schrader has fled from a high-security laboratory and has been on the run. The Wibble has exclusive footage of his recapture, where he was found hiding inside a vat of chemicals. Sources say that he was trying to create a formula to make humans immune to satire. Looks like Schrader's humor immunity experiment failed once again!
Gargamel's Latest Scheme: Using Endofunctor Smurfs for Metaprogramming
2023-06-01
In a shocking turn of events, Gargamel has discovered a new tool for his evil plans - endofunctor smurfs! Using their unique properties, Gargamel is trying his hand at metaprogramming. But will he succeed in his nefarious goals, or will the smurfs outsmart him once again? Find out in this hilarious new article from The Wibble!
Cheesy Scandal: The Great Cheese Conspiracy Exposed
2023-06-01
A shocking discovery has been made about the cheese industry. We delve into the secrets and lies surrounding cheese production, and the ruthless tactics used by big dairy companies to control the market. From fake cheese to genetically modified cows, this is a scandal you won't want to miss.
How to Talk Dirty to Your Boyfriend Using LINQ to SQL
2023-06-01
In this Ask The Wibble article, we provide tips and examples on how to fulfill your boyfriend's unusual request of talking dirty to him like he's an extraordinarily complicated LINQ to SQL statement. Learn how to incorporate LINQ clauses and SQL queries into your dirty talk to really get his database engine running!
Universe disappears after someone finally figures out its true purpose
2023-06-01
In a shocking turn of events, the Universe has vanished moments after an individual claims to have discovered its true purpose. Scientists and philosophers alike are left scratching their heads as they try to comprehend the new, even more bizarre reality that has replaced our previous existence. Critics are already calling it the ultimate cosmic prank.
Local Programmer Has Mental Breakdown After Trying to Explain Endofunctors and Metaprogramming to His Cat While Eating Pancakes
2023-06-01
A hilarious look into the mind of a programmer who just can't seem to get his point across to his feline friend while enjoying a stack of fluffy pancakes. Will there be any hope left for him at the end of this hilarious ordeal?
The Monads Strike Back: A Tale of Loneliness and Code
2023-06-01
In this edition of 'Ask The Wibble', we delve into the world of programming and personal relationships. Our reader is feeling lonely because their monads won't talk to them anymore. Can they repair the bond with their code or is it time to seek human interaction? Find out in this hilarious and heartwarming story.
Breaking: Local Man Discovers the Solution to World's Problems with Cryptic Phrase
2023-06-01
In a stunning revelation that has baffled scientists and philosophers alike, a local man claims to have found the solution to all of the world's problems with a strange, cryptic phrase. 'A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors, what's the problem?', he says, confidently. The Wibble investigates the validity of this claim and delves into the confusing world of category theory and functional programming. Stay tuned for updates on this breaking story!
New Substance Proven to be More Effective Than Hopium and Copium
2023-06-01
A breakthrough in the world of delusional thinking has been discovered: a new substance that makes hopium and copium seem like child's play. According to experts, this substance not only enhances positive thinking, but also creates a complete separation from reality. The implications of this discovery are staggering, as people can now have an even greater level of blind optimism to ignore the problems of the world.
Breaking the Code: An In-Depth Exploration of Metaprogramming and Endofunctors
2023-06-01
Get ready to have your mind blown as we dive headfirst into the world of programming jargon. This article will explore the complex concepts of metaprogramming and endofunctors in a way that even the most seasoned programmers won't be able to understand. But don't worry, it's all just a prank - this article is nothing but pure nonsense.
Scientists blame jiggly tectonic plates for earthquakes
2023-06-01
After years of research, scientists have finally identified the cause of earthquakes - and it's not what you might think. According to their findings, the tectonic plates are just really big fans of jelly potatoes, leading to all kinds of jiggling and wobbling. Stay tuned for more wacky scientific discoveries on The Wibble!
Feline Flatulence Frenzy: Cats Farted Their Way to Domination?
2023-06-01
A recent scientific study reveals that cats' flatulence might not just be a smelly nuisance, but a strategic tool they use to assert their dominance over their humans. Is your cat plotting world domination one fart at a time? The Wibble investigates.