Man Fails to Damage White House Barrier Despite Best Efforts, Still Declared 'Greatest Attack on America' by Government Officials
2023-05-28
In a stunning display of mediocrity, a man crashed an empty Uhaul truck into a White House barrier at slow speeds without causing any damage whatsoever. Despite the lack of impact, government officials are hailing this as the greatest attack on America since the insurrection. Stay tuned for further developments in this tragic tale of underachievement.
Lululemon Fires Courageous Employees Who Filmed Thugs Stealing Merchandise
2023-05-28
When a group of thugs raided a Lululemon store and started stealing merchandise, the employees on duty didn't just stand by and watch. They whipped out their phones and started filming the brazen heist, all while calling the police for backup. But instead of being commended for their bravery, the employees were fired by Lululemon for 'violating company policy.' The incident has sparked outrage online, with many calling for a boycott of the popular activewear brand.
Microsoft Announces Windows 5000, Now with Time-Travel Capabilities
2023-05-28
In an unprecedented move, Microsoft unveils its latest operating system - Windows 5000, with a revolutionary time-travel feature that lets you go back in time and undo your computer's mistakes. No more blue screens of death or lost files, Windows 5000 has got you covered.
2021 Movies That Will Make You Want to Get Your Money Back
2023-05-29
From remakes to sequels, the movies hitting theaters this year may leave you feeling like you've wasted your money. Join us on a journey through the most disappointing releases of 2021 so far.
Government Reveals Reason for Hiding UFOs: They Keep Stealing Our Snacks
2023-05-29
In a shocking revelation, the government has finally come clean about their decades-long cover-up of UFO sightings. The reason? Alien visitors just can't resist raiding our snack cabinets. Experts speculate that the extraterrestrial love for human junk food stems from a lack of vending machines in their home galaxies. Read on to learn more about this out-of-this-world conspiracy.
Drunk Linguist Stumbles Upon Revolutionary Iambic Pentameter Discovery
2023-05-29
In a drunken stupor, a linguist makes a groundbreaking discovery in the world of poetry - a new form of iambic pentameter! Tune in to learn about this genius's accidental literary breakthrough and how it's shaking up the poetry world.
Local Man Frustrated After Trying to Insert Hamburger into Disk Drive
2023-05-29
A local man's attempt to satisfy his hunger has resulted in a computer disaster. After mistaking his disk drive for a hamburger tray, he tried to insert the burger into the computer. Unfortunately, the grease and cheese have caused irreversible damage to his machine. This cautionary tale serves as a reminder to always double-check before inserting your snacks into any electronic device.
General Error admits to snooping while searching for command prompt
2023-05-29
In an exclusive interview, General Error explains why he accidentally stumbled upon your personal files stored in your Drive C: while desperately searching for the command prompt. Find out what other embarrassing things he accidentally saw on this hilarious episode of The Wibble!
Local man disappointed to discover zombies don't actually exist
2023-05-29
In a shocking turn of events, local man Terry Smith was devastated to discover that zombies are not, in fact, real. 'I was really looking forward to the zombie apocalypse,' Smith was heard saying. 'I had my bug-out bag ready and everything.' Smith's disappointment is shared by many, who are now questioning what other fictional creatures they may have been counting on for their survival.
Popular mobile game introduces 'pay to win' feature, players forced to pawn belongings to compete
2023-05-29
A new update has introduced in-app purchases that allow players to buy unbeatable power-ups in the popular game 'Mobile Mayhem'. As a result, players are resorting to extreme measures, such as pawning their belongings, to keep up with the competition. Is this the end of fair gameplay? Find out in our latest article on the disastrous effects of in-app purchases in mobile games.
Unzip the Fun: Hilarious Uses for the New .zip TLD
2023-05-29
From using it as a code for secret messages to creating a makeshift hammock, discover the unexpected and entertaining ways to make the most out of the new .zip top-level domain in this side-splitting feature on The Wibble.
Nvidia Announces They Have Achieved Nuclear Fusion in Their Graphics Cards
2023-05-29
In a stunning technological breakthrough, Nvidia has revealed that they have successfully created graphics cards that utilize nuclear fusion to provide unparalleled performance. Gamers and tech enthusiasts alike are eagerly anticipating the release of these new cards, which are rumored to have the power to run 'Crysis' on maximum settings without breaking a sweat.
Scientists recreate 'Evoker' from Persona 3, accidentally summoning real-life Personas
2023-05-28
In a freak experiment, researchers have successfully recreated the 'Evoker' device from the popular video game Persona 3. However, their excitement turned to panic as they accidentally summoned real-life Personas into our world, causing chaos and confusion. The Wibble investigates the aftermath of this scientific breakthrough gone wrong.
Commander Shepherd's Favorite Store on the Citadel Revealed!
2023-05-28
After years of speculation among Mass Effect fans, we finally have the answer to the burning question - where does Commander Shepherd love to shop on the Citadel? Our investigative team has uncovered the surprising truth and we can't wait to share it with you. Get ready for a shopping spree, because you won't believe what this hero's favorite store is!
Florida Man Sentenced to Virtual Death for Obscene Stunt in Trackmania
2023-05-28
In a shocking turn of events, a Florida man has been sentenced to virtual death in the popular video game Trackmania for his obscene stunt. Find out what he did and how the authorities caught him in this satirical news article.
Breaking News: What Does Pulling a Wirtual Actually Mean?
2023-05-28
After years of speculation, The Wibble finally gets to the bottom of what it means to 'Pull a Wirtual'. Is it clutching? Choking? You won't believe what we found out. Get ready to have your mind blown.
Science discovers Uranus is actually a giant space grapefruit
2023-05-28
In a shocking twist, researchers have announced that Uranus is no longer recognized as a planet but rather a massive, delicious grapefruit in our solar system. Get the inside scoop on how this discovery could change everything we thought we knew about space fruit.
Scientists Discover That 'Over 9000' is Actually the Optimal Number for Everything
2023-05-28
A team of researchers at the prestigious Institute of Nonsensical Studies has made a groundbreaking discovery: the number 9000 is the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe. From the perfect amount of coffee scoops to the ideal number of cats to own, everything is now clear thanks to the power of 'over 9000'. This news has thrown the world into chaos as everyone scrambles to adjust their lives accordingly.
From POTUS to Pottery: The Art of Presidential Crafting
2023-05-28
Explore the hidden talent of our Commander-in-Chief as we delve into the world of presidential pottery. From Trump's handcrafted coffee mugs to Biden's expertly thrown vases, we'll showcase the best and worst of political pottery. Make sure to join us for this kiln-fired adventure!
Biden Crafts His Way To Better Governance
2023-05-28
Sources close to the White House report that President Biden has turned to pottery as a means to improve his leadership skills. Can shaping clay really help him shape policy? Read on to find out!