Shrek 5 to Feature Ed Sheeran's Funeral: Fans Furious at Gross Misuse of Talent
2023-06-04
In a shocking announcement, it has been revealed that the long-awaited Shrek 5 will include a funeral for none other than Ed Sheeran. Fans are outraged at the gross misuse of the talented singer-songwriter and are calling for a boycott of the film. Meanwhile, studio executives defend the decision, stating that it will bring a new level of emotional depth to the beloved franchise. Will Shrek 5 be a box office hit or a massive disappointment? Only time will tell.
40-Year-Old Man's Hilarious Mishaps as a 16-Year-Old School Girl
2023-06-04
When a middle-aged man wakes up in a teenage girl's body, he must navigate the challenges of high school with a twist—using the girls' bathroom, recalling his housewife experience, and pondering why teenage girls are obsessed with TikTok dances. Follow along as he shares his hilarious observations and tries not to get caught in awkward situations.
Local Fish Graduates With Honors from University Despite Being Locked in Safe for Years
2023-06-04
In a shocking turn of events, a local fish that had been trapped in a safe for years managed to graduate with honors from a top university. The fish, who had been locked up with a mysterious heart symbol and several other emojis, had apparently been using its time in captivity to study for its degree. Interviewed after the ceremony, the fish expressed relief at finally being free from the safe and hinted at plans to pursue a career in academia. Experts are baffled as to how the fish survived for so long without food, water, or oxygen, and have suggested that its remarkable achievements could be the result of supernatural powers or an ability to communicate telepathically with dolphins. More on this breaking story, only at The Wibble.
Man Declares 'Spider-Verse Sequel Lacks Appeal', Gets Attacked by Angry Fans
2023-06-04
An unsuspecting man made the mistake of expressing his disinterest in the upcoming 'Spider-Verse' sequel, only to find himself the target of an enraged fan base. Our reporter on the scene captured the mayhem as the man was pelted with popcorn and harassed by a mob of angry cosplayers. Will he survive this brutal attack? Read the full story on The Wibble!
New study shows eating Walkers Ready Salted crisps leads to belief in non-existent countries
2023-06-04
A shocking new study has found that consuming Walkers Ready Salted crisps can trigger a bizarre mental phenomenon – the sudden belief that Germany doesn't exist. Scientists are baffled by the correlation, but are warning people to approach the humble potato chip with caution. Will this discovery change the way we look at snack foods forever? Read more on The Wibble.
Smegma Train Derailment Causes Commotion and Disgust
2023-06-04
A train carrying loads of smegma derailed in a small town, causing chaos and nausea among locals. The horrific incident led to an uproar on social media, with people calling for better regulation of smegma transportation.
4chan user denies holocaust but can't locate Israel on map
2023-06-04
In a shocking display of ignorance, a 4chan user has claimed that the Holocaust never happened. However, when asked to locate Israel on a map, the user was unable to do so. Experts are calling this a new level of stupidity even for the internet.
Cheesiest Omelette Declared Eighth Wonder of the World
2023-06-04
In a shocking turn of events, a local diner's cheesiest omelette has been declared the newest Eighth Wonder of the World. Experts from around the globe have been flocking to the small establishment in droves to witness the miraculous, cheesy creation for themselves. We interviewed the chef behind the omelette and got the inside scoop on what makes it so special. Don't miss out on this cheesy sensation!
Vegetarian Vampire goes on a quest for ethically sourced blood
2023-06-04
Interview with a vegetarian vampire who's struggling to find blood that aligns with her values. Join her on a hilarious journey to find humane sources of sustenance, while confronting the realities of being a vampire living in a human world.
Actor Ralph Fiennes Goes 'Yeeting' Through the Multiverse
2023-06-04
In a shocking turn of events, famed British actor Ralph Fiennes has announced that he's done with the mundane reality of living and has instead taken up 'yeeting' through the multiverse. Sources close to the actor report that he's been spotted jumping between parallel dimensions and encountering all sorts of strange alternate versions of himself. Is this the end of Fiennes' acting career? Or is it just the beginning of a new, even more entertaining phase?
Karl Marx apologizes to McDonald's and Coca-Cola for socialism
2023-06-04
In a surprising turn of events, Karl Marx, the legendary socialist philosopher, has issued a formal apology to two American giants - McDonald's and Coca-Cola - after trying a Big Mac and a Coke for the first time. Sources close to Marx claim that the experience was a real eye-opener for the philosopher, who realized the merits of capitalism and denounced his previous beliefs. The incident has sparked intense debate among the socialist community and left many wondering if Marx's apology is a genuine change of heart or a tactical move to protect his legacy.
Fortnite Crowned as New Ruler of France After Intense Battle Royale
2023-06-04
In a shocking turn of events, the popular video game Fortnite has declared itself as the new supreme leader of France after defeating all opposition in a fierce Battle Royale. Will the citizens of France embrace their new gaming overlords, or will they rise up and fight for their freedom? Stay tuned for updates on this developing story.
Local Nihilist Society Disbands After Realizing Life is Pointless
2023-06-04
The local nihilist society, once a thriving group of individuals who believed in the futility of existence, announced their disbandment today after finally realizing the pointlessness of their own organization. Members reportedly felt a sense of relief and freedom upon letting go of their nihilistic beliefs and embracing the absurdity of life.
Man's Mid-Life Crisis Leads to Unconventional Hobby: Rocket Launching
2023-06-04
Local man Jeff Thompson's mid-life crisis took an interstellar turn when he purchased a retired Space rocket. Thompson, who already owns a red sports car and a motorbike, has found a new thrill in launching rockets to the outer limits. But with the increasing frequency of launches, neighbors are starting to wonder if they should invest in some serious soundproofing.
Taco Bell acquires McDonald's after disastrous McTurnip launch
2023-06-04
In the latest fast food news, McDonald's has been acquired by competing chain Taco Bell after their newest menu item, the McTurnip, failed to bring in customers. The strange combination of a burger patty and turnip slaw was simply too bizarre for the average consumer. Find out what led to this shocking acquisition and what changes we might expect to see at the beloved golden arches.
Boris Johnson to Star in Avengers 69 as the Ultimate Villain
2023-06-04
Get ready for the biggest crossover event yet! In a surprising twist, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been cast as the main antagonist in the latest Avengers installment. With his trademark messy hair and bumbling demeanor, Johnson promises to bring a uniquely absurd flavor to the Marvel Universe. Will the Avengers be able to stop him before he wreaks havoc on the world stage? Find out in Avengers 69!
New Proof of God's Existence Found to Be Existence of Cat Videos
2023-06-04
In a stunning revelation, scientists have discovered that the true proof of God's existence is the unlimited supply of cat videos on the internet. Experts explain that the sheer joy and entertainment brought on by watching these adorable feline creatures is evidence that there must be a divine being out there looking out for us. The Vatican has responded to the news with a statement saying they always knew that cats were messengers from heaven.
NASA Finds Evidence of Advanced Procrastination on Mars
2023-06-04
In a startling discovery, NASA scientists have found evidence that suggests that the inhabitants of Mars were expert procrastinators. The data shows that they had developed technology that allowed them to put off tasks for extended periods of time, and that they had become so skilled at procrastination that they were able to survive for millennia without ever completing a single task. The scientists are now digging deeper into this phenomenon, hoping to learn the secrets of advanced procrastination from the Martians.
Time-Traveling Talking Gorilla Fails to Kill Obama Due to Inability to Stop Talking About Famous Banana Bread Recipe
2023-06-04
In a bizarre turn of events, a time-traveling talking gorilla was sent back in time with one mission - to assassinate former President Obama. However, things didn't go as planned when the gorilla's love for his famous banana bread recipe proved too distracting. Will the gorilla succeed in carrying out his mission, or will his love for baking ultimately be his downfall? Read on to find out in this hilariously absurd article from The Wibble.
Sigmund Freud's Secret Fetish Revealed: ABDL
2023-06-04
In a shocking twist, new evidence has emerged suggesting that the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, may have been part of the ABDL community. Our investigative reporters dive into the scandalous world of adult baby diaper lovers to uncover the truth behind this hidden aspect of Freud's life.