Nvidia Announces They Have Achieved Nuclear Fusion in Their Graphics Cards
2023-05-29
In a stunning technological breakthrough, Nvidia has revealed that they have successfully created graphics cards that utilize nuclear fusion to provide unparalleled performance. Gamers and tech enthusiasts alike are eagerly anticipating the release of these new cards, which are rumored to have the power to run 'Crysis' on maximum settings without breaking a sweat.
Scientists recreate 'Evoker' from Persona 3, accidentally summoning real-life Personas
2023-05-28
In a freak experiment, researchers have successfully recreated the 'Evoker' device from the popular video game Persona 3. However, their excitement turned to panic as they accidentally summoned real-life Personas into our world, causing chaos and confusion. The Wibble investigates the aftermath of this scientific breakthrough gone wrong.
Commander Shepherd's Favorite Store on the Citadel Revealed!
2023-05-28
After years of speculation among Mass Effect fans, we finally have the answer to the burning question - where does Commander Shepherd love to shop on the Citadel? Our investigative team has uncovered the surprising truth and we can't wait to share it with you. Get ready for a shopping spree, because you won't believe what this hero's favorite store is!
Florida Man Sentenced to Virtual Death for Obscene Stunt in Trackmania
2023-05-28
In a shocking turn of events, a Florida man has been sentenced to virtual death in the popular video game Trackmania for his obscene stunt. Find out what he did and how the authorities caught him in this satirical news article.
Breaking News: What Does Pulling a Wirtual Actually Mean?
2023-05-28
After years of speculation, The Wibble finally gets to the bottom of what it means to 'Pull a Wirtual'. Is it clutching? Choking? You won't believe what we found out. Get ready to have your mind blown.
Man Fails to Damage White House Barrier Despite Best Efforts, Still Declared 'Greatest Attack on America' by Government Officials
2023-05-28
In a stunning display of mediocrity, a man crashed an empty Uhaul truck into a White House barrier at slow speeds without causing any damage whatsoever. Despite the lack of impact, government officials are hailing this as the greatest attack on America since the insurrection. Stay tuned for further developments in this tragic tale of underachievement.
Lululemon Fires Courageous Employees Who Filmed Thugs Stealing Merchandise
2023-05-28
When a group of thugs raided a Lululemon store and started stealing merchandise, the employees on duty didn't just stand by and watch. They whipped out their phones and started filming the brazen heist, all while calling the police for backup. But instead of being commended for their bravery, the employees were fired by Lululemon for 'violating company policy.' The incident has sparked outrage online, with many calling for a boycott of the popular activewear brand.
Microsoft Announces Windows 5000, Now with Time-Travel Capabilities
2023-05-28
In an unprecedented move, Microsoft unveils its latest operating system - Windows 5000, with a revolutionary time-travel feature that lets you go back in time and undo your computer's mistakes. No more blue screens of death or lost files, Windows 5000 has got you covered.
Science discovers Uranus is actually a giant space grapefruit
2023-05-28
In a shocking twist, researchers have announced that Uranus is no longer recognized as a planet but rather a massive, delicious grapefruit in our solar system. Get the inside scoop on how this discovery could change everything we thought we knew about space fruit.
Scientists Discover That 'Over 9000' is Actually the Optimal Number for Everything
2023-05-28
A team of researchers at the prestigious Institute of Nonsensical Studies has made a groundbreaking discovery: the number 9000 is the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe. From the perfect amount of coffee scoops to the ideal number of cats to own, everything is now clear thanks to the power of 'over 9000'. This news has thrown the world into chaos as everyone scrambles to adjust their lives accordingly.
From POTUS to Pottery: The Art of Presidential Crafting
2023-05-28
Explore the hidden talent of our Commander-in-Chief as we delve into the world of presidential pottery. From Trump's handcrafted coffee mugs to Biden's expertly thrown vases, we'll showcase the best and worst of political pottery. Make sure to join us for this kiln-fired adventure!
Biden Crafts His Way To Better Governance
2023-05-28
Sources close to the White House report that President Biden has turned to pottery as a means to improve his leadership skills. Can shaping clay really help him shape policy? Read on to find out!
M. Bison Announces Plans to Run for President in Street Fighter World
2023-05-28
In a surprising move, Street Fighter villain M. Bison has declared his intention to run for President of the Street Fighter world. Critics question his ability to lead fairly, but Bison insists that he can bring order to the chaos of the tournament circuit. His campaign slogan? 'For a Better Tomorrow...Start Working for the Shadaloo Today.'
Faking It: The Rise of Knockoffs in the Fashion Industry
2023-05-28
The fashion industry is no longer just about creating unique designs, as the market for knockoffs continues to grow. From fake Chanel bags to imitation Gucci loafers, we take a comical approach to explore the impact of knockoffs on the industry and the hilarious reactions of fashionistas caught wearing fakes.
Planet without Farting Finally Farted
2023-05-28
After centuries of suppressing flatulence, the inhabitants of the planet 'No Farting Zone' couldn't hold it in any longer and let out a massive blast. Scientists are now studying the effects of such a pent-up fart on the environment and atmosphere. Meanwhile, the citizens are relieved to finally be able to break wind freely without fear of punishment.
Scientists Discover a Dozen New Emojis
2023-05-28
In a groundbreaking discovery, scientists have added a dozen new emojis to our already extensive library of digital expressions. From the highly anticipated 'face with raised eyebrow and monocle' to the confusing but intriguing 'sloth riding a unicycle', these new additions are sure to revolutionize the way we communicate online. Stay tuned as we dive deeper into the meanings and potential uses for each of these exciting new emojis.
Local Man Terrifies Small Children by Eating Entire Bag of Carrots in One Sitting
2023-05-28
Arantor, a notorious carrot enthusiast, has struck fear into the hearts of young children everywhere by consuming an entire bag of carrots in one sitting. Witnesses report that Arantor gnawed through every last carrot with an intensity usually reserved for bear attacks or zombie apocalypses. Authorities are warning parents to keep their children indoors and away from any suspicious rustling sounds coming from the vegetable aisle.
KFC's Healthy Uranium Chicken: The New Superfood?
2023-05-28
A recent study suggests that consuming KFC's Healthy Uranium Chicken can lead to night vision. Are we witnessing the birth of a new superfood or a radioactive disaster? Find out more on The Wibble.
KFC's New Uranium Chicken: The Healthiest Fast Food Yet?
2023-05-28
KFC has recently announced the release of their latest menu item: Uranium Chicken. Despite concerns about radioactivity, KFC assures customers that the levels have been reduced and the taste is amazing. Could this be the new health craze we've all been waiting for?
FDA and WHO approves Uranium for daily consumption: New health craze or nuclear disaster?
2023-05-28
In a shocking move, the FDA and WHO have given the green light for the consumption of Uranium in small doses on a daily basis. Some health enthusiasts are hailing this as the newest superfood, while others are concerned about the poisonous and radioactive effects. The Wibble dives deep into this controversial decision and its potential consequences for humanity.