Microsoft CEO Declares Apple's 'Fartronic Engine' as Best Innovation
2023-06-01
During a recent developer keynote, Sathya Nandella of Microsoft lauded Apple's 'Fartronic Engine' as the best innovation yet! Nandella was so impressed that he ordered the engine for his car along with Apple's 'fart + food' subscription. But things took a hilarious turn when Nandella's fart was heard loud and clear due to his diet, causing MS fan boys to frantically capture the gas. Who knew that farts could be the next big thing in tech?
Local man arrested for excessive use of LINQ statements while farting
2023-06-01
In a strange turn of events, a local man has been arrested for using excessive LINQ statements while farting. It was reported that his code emitted an unpleasant odor and caused headaches among his colleagues. The man has been charged with foul play and is being held for questioning.
Interdimensional Council of Trees Float their Way into the Galactic Senate
2023-06-01
In a surprising turn of events, the galactic senate has added an entirely new branch of government made up of interdimensional trees. We spoke to some of the council members to get their take on the matter, but unfortunately, all they had to say was 'photosynthesis'.
Breaking News: Monads and Monoids Take Over Mathematics!
2023-06-01
In a shocking turn of events, it has been discovered that a monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors. Mathematicians around the world are scrambling to update their understanding of these concepts before they become irrelevant. Is this the end of traditional mathematics as we know it? The Wibble investigates.
Project Orion: A Retrospective Review of the Failed Mascara Launch
2023-06-01
We take a deep dive into the ill-fated launch of Project Orion, which promised to revolutionize the mascara industry. From exploding tubes to bird collisions, this retrospective review recounts the hilarious mishaps of the beauty industry's most notorious flop.
Ask the Wibble: Should the F-16 be called the "Fighting Falcon" or the "Viper"?
2023-06-01
In this edition of Ask the Wibble, we tackle the tough question of what to call the F-16 fighter jet. Should it be the fierce-sounding Fighting Falcon or the sly and deadly Viper? Our expert panel of fighter pilots and animal behavioralists weigh in, with surprising results. Don't miss this heated debate and decide for yourself which name is truly fitting for this iconic aircraft.
SpaceX Launches DIY Booster Kit: Blast Off with Project Orion Tech!
2023-06-01
Space enthusiasts, rejoice! Elon Musk's SpaceX has just unveiled their latest invention - a DIY booster kit that lets you launch yourself into space using the cutting-edge technology from Project Orion. Whether you're a weekend hobbyist or a full-time astronaut wannabe, this kit has everything you need to blast off from your own backyard. Read on for a hilarious look at this audacious new product and the gravity-defying possibilities it offers.
Minecraft Updated to Require Floating Trees
2023-06-01
In the latest update of the popular game Minecraft, players are now required to build all their trees floating in the air. The move has been met with mixed reactions from the gaming community. Some players argue that it adds an extra layer of difficulty, while others are just trying to figure out how to keep their treehouses from plummeting to the ground.
Man Accidentally Reboots Universe After Leaning on Giant Reset Button
2023-06-01
In a hilarious turn of events, a man stumbled upon a giant reset button and accidentally caused the universe to restart. Chaos ensues as everyone suddenly finds themselves back in their respective timelines. Will the man be able to fix his mistake or will we be stuck in a never-ending loop of existence? Find out more in this side-splitting article on The Wibble!
Breaking News: Scientists Reveal That Water is Now Officially Dry!
2023-06-01
In a shocking development, scientists have discovered that water has officially lost its ability to be wet, leaving the world in a state of utter confusion. Read on to find out how this new discovery will change the way we look at hydration forever!
Heaven and Hell team up to take down pesky black hole
2023-06-01
In a surprising move, the forces of Heaven and Hell have declared war on a common enemy - the black hole. Sources say that after centuries of battling each other, they have decided to put their differences aside and join forces to take on this menacing astronomical object. Stay tuned for updates on this epic battle between good, evil, and physics.
Apple unveils revolutionary 'Fartronic Engine' that runs on farts
2023-06-01
In a shocking move, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced the development of a new car engine that runs entirely on farts. Dubbed the 'Fartronic Engine', the company plans to capitalize on the success of their new product by also selling the farts needed to power it. Will this innovation change the face of the automotive industry forever? Only time (and beans) will tell.
Heaven declares independence from Earth, citing irreconcilable differences
2023-06-01
In a shocking turn of events, the celestial realm has officially declared independence from its terrestrial counterpart. The move follows years of tension and disagreements, with Heaven citing a lack of common values and goals. Earth, meanwhile, has expressed disappointment but insists that it will continue to strive towards a peaceful coexistence with its heavenly neighbour.
BREAKING NEWS: Scientists Discover That Cats are Actually Liquid Aliens!
2023-06-01
In a groundbreaking discovery, scientists have revealed that cats are not actually made of solid matter but are, in fact, liquid aliens from another planet! Find out what this could mean for the future of our feline friends, and how it explains why they always seem to defy the laws of physics.
English language adopts cyrillic alphabet as official writing system
2023-06-01
In a surprising turn of events, English language experts have decided to switch to using the cyrillic alphabet for all written communication. The transition will require all English speakers to learn a new set of characters and will undoubtedly lead to some confusion and hilarious misunderstandings. Stay tuned for updates on how this change will impact our daily lives.
English Alphabet Loses 10 Letters Overnight
2023-06-01
In a shocking turn of events, the English language has removed 10 letters from its alphabet. Words such as 'xenophobia', 'quarantine' and 'electricity' are now impossible to spell. Linguists and educators are scrambling to adjust to the new reality while conspiracy theorists claim the government is behind it all. Stay tuned for updates as the language continues to evolve!
Putin Claims He'll Only Pay Haag Fine in Rubles
2023-06-01
Russian President Vladimir Putin has been sued in The Hague, but he's not too concerned. In a recent statement, he declared that he will only pay the fine in rubles, since he believes the euro and dollar are too unstable. Critics are calling this move 'typical Putin' and are questioning his commitment to international law and financial stability.
Local Man Arrested for Overusing LINQ Statements While Under the Influence
2023-06-01
A local man's programming skills got him into trouble when he started chaining together too many LINQ statements while intoxicated. Find out how his love for LINQ led to his ultimate downfall in this hilarious article on The Wibble.
Justin Bieber's Farts Reach New Heights With Apple's 'Fartronic' Engine
2023-06-01
A new study has shown that half of air pollution can be attributed to Justin Bieber's increased flatulence production after purchasing Apple's 'Fartronic' Engine. Sources indicate that his fart and Apple subscription have caused him to consume foods that exacerbate his condition. The pop star is now reportedly considering selling his farts, but is struggling to control his emissions while performing. Stay tuned for updates on this gassy situation.
Microsoft Windows now supports glass display cases for optimal viewing experience
2023-06-01
In a surprising move, Microsoft has updated their operating system to support displays and screens that serve no practical purpose other than being showcased in sleek glass cases. Users can now admire their monitor's glossy sheen and pristine design without the inconvenience of actually using it for work. Finally, a valuable addition to the world of computing.