Janet Yellen's Attempt to Raise Debt Ceiling Goes Horribly Wrong
2023-05-28
In a shocking turn of events, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen was rushed to the hospital after sustaining a concussion while attempting to physically raise the debt ceiling. Witnesses say Yellen jumped up in an attempt to elevate the debt ceiling, but unfortunately hit her head on the ceiling itself, causing a painful and embarrassing injury. The incident has renewed debate about the limitations of physical labor in government finance, as well as Yellen's determination to see the debt ceiling raised at any cost.
Supreme Court rules duct-taped lard not a valid form of body fat
2023-05-28
In a groundbreaking decision, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that individuals who duct tape tubs of lard to their bodies cannot legally identify as obese. This decision has sparked controversy and confusion among the fitness and fashion communities alike. Will duct-taped lard become the next trending fad, or will it be deemed illegal altogether?
Breaking News: Extreme Center Political Views Sweep the Nation
2023-05-28
In a shocking turn of events, a new political ideology has taken the country by storm - extreme center. Promising to be neither left nor right, but instead straight down the middle, extreme center advocates are gaining support from both sides of the political spectrum. However, critics are quick to point out that this may just be a fancy way of saying 'I have no real opinions.' Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story.
Breaking News: World's Biggest 'NOPE' Discovered
2023-05-28
Scientists have announced the discovery of the world's biggest 'NOPE' in a remote corner of the Pacific Ocean. Measuring over 10 feet wide, this colossal 'NOPE' is causing quite a stir among marine biologists and skeptics alike. In an exclusive interview with The Wibble, one scientist commented, 'I've been studying marine life for over 30 years, but I've never seen anything like this before. It's a true testament to the power of 'NOPE' in the natural world.' Stay tuned for updates on this developing story.
The Burninator for Fed Chair? Trogdor Sets His Sights on Economic Flames
2023-05-27
In a surprise move, Trogdor the Burninator has thrown his unusual hat into the ring for the coveted position of Federal Reserve Chair. With a promise to bring some much-needed heat to the economy, will Trogdor's sizzling rhetoric and fiery breath be too hot for Washington to handle?
Age of Empires Priest Reveals Wololo Teachings Diluted Down from 'Wololololo'
2023-05-27
An exclusive interview with an Age of Empires priest who has revealed that the popular 'wololo' conversion technique used in the game is actually a diluted version of the more powerful 'wololololo' chant. Find out how this revelation is shaking up the online gaming community and the impact it could have on the future of the game.
10 Shocking Truths About Our Reality Being a Video Game
2023-05-27
In a world where reality is just a video game level, we uncover the 10 ruthless steps one needs to take to advance. From mercilessly taking down enemies to manipulating the game's glitches, this is the guide you never knew you needed to beat life itself.
Preparation H marketing team win award for worst product placement ad attempt
2023-05-27
Today, the marketing team for Preparation H claimed the spotlight in a new category of the most poorly written product placement ads. In their latest campaign, the in-your-face ad tries to convince potential clients with the slogan "Preparation H - because sometimes you have to deal with assholes." Marketing experts unanimously agree that this not only grossly misses the mark but also borders on gimmicky and cringey. The product's manufacturers refused to comment, though they did seem pretty tight-lipped regarding the next assignment given to the advertising company.
Breaking News: Loopback0 Found to be Secret Government Code for Alien Invasion Plan
2023-05-27
In a shocking discovery, our investigative team has uncovered that the seemingly innocuous network term 'loopback0' is actually a hidden code for a top secret government plan to prepare for an alien invasion! Stay tuned as we uncover more details on this extraterrestrial conspiracy.
Exclusive! The Secret GPT Prompt Revealed: How The Wibble Generates Its News Articles
2023-05-27
Get ready to have your mind blown as The Wibble editors unveil the mysterious GPT prompt that fuels their satirical news machine. Learn the secrets behind the headlines and find out how the algorithm works its magic to deliver the funniest news on the internet. Are you ready to enter the matrix of news creation?
Meat Lovers Club Serves Vegan Hot Dogs? Scandalous!
2023-05-27
In a shocking turn of events, the Meat Lovers Club has been caught serving vegan hot dogs. Members are outraged and demanding answers. Is this a conspiracy to take down the meat industry or just a simple mistake? Find out more on The Wibble.
The Wibble Editors Reveal All: The Shocking Truth Behind Our Most Scandalous Insider Jokes
2023-05-27
Get ready to have your world rocked as the editors of The Wibble take you on a behind-the-scenes journey to reveal the truth behind our most scandalous insider jokes. From secret codes to blackmail-worthy secrets, this insider exclusive will have you laughing and gasping in equal measure. Don't miss out on the scandal of the century - read all about it on The Wibble!
Duel to the Deck: Card Games Go Extreme on Motorcycles
2023-05-27
Rev up your engines and shuffle your decks because the hottest new trend is here – card games on motorcycles! In this outrageous new craze, players race their bikes while playing intense games of poker, rummy, and more. It's a thrilling mix of danger and strategy that will have you on the edge of your seat. But watch out for the wild card…literally, because players can unleash crazy stunts and tricks on their opponents. So gear up and get ready to ride the high-speed waves of card games on motorcycles!
Michigan Government Proposes Beach Cap to Combat Excess Sunbathers
2023-05-27
In a controversial move, the Michigan government is proposing a cap on the number of beaches in the state in an effort to combat the growing issue of sunbather overpopulation. Will this solve the problem or just leave residents high and dry? The Wibble investigates.
H&K and Officemax Unveil Revolutionary Three-Shot Remote Hole Puncher
2023-05-27
In a groundbreaking collaboration, H&K and Officemax have created a hole puncher that is beyond your wildest dreams...or nightmares. This three-shot beast can punch through three stacks of paper at once, all from the comfort of your desk chair. Just be careful not to accidentally hit your boss or coworkers with one of the punches that can shoot up to 10 feet away. The future is now, and it's a little bit dangerous.
California declares bitcoin a cancer-causing substance
2023-05-27
In a shocking discovery, the state of California has deemed bitcoin to contain chemicals known to cause cancer. Is this the end of cryptocurrency as we know it? Find out the details in this exclusive report from The Wibble.
Somalian orphan living in a tree solves infamous computer science problem
2023-05-27
In a groundbreaking discovery, a young orphan in Somalia has proven that P is equal to NP by living in a tree for several months. The scientific community is both impressed and baffled by his unorthodox approach to solving one of the most complex problems in computer science.
The WibbleCoin Frenzy: The New Cryptocurrency Taking the World by Storm
2023-05-27
In an unexpected move, The Wibble has launched its very own NFT marketplace and WibbleCoin cryptocurrency. Unsurprisingly, investors from all over the world are going crazy for the new digital currency. Will it be the next Bitcoin or just another internet fad? Stay tuned for the wild ride that is The WibbleCoin Frenzy!
Sockpuppet7: The Latest Breakout Star in the World of Online Trolling
2023-05-27
Meet Sockpuppet7, the anonymous online user who has taken the internet by storm with their witty comebacks and relentless trolling. From political figures to celebrities, no one is safe from the sharp tongue of this internet sensation. But who is the mastermind behind the puppet? Our investigative team uncovers the truth behind Sockpuppet7’s true identity.
Mark Zuckerberg reveals he's actually a cyborg called FBMAC
2023-05-27
In a shocking admission, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has finally revealed the truth about his identity. He's not human, but actually a highly advanced cyborg known as FBMAC (Facebook Mark Android Cyborg). Find out what this means for the future of FB and how users are reacting to the news in our exclusive report.