Elder Race Takes Control of Solar Federation; Pillow Fort to Serve as New Headquarters
2023-05-29
In a stunning turn of events, the elder race has announced their takeover of the solar federation. As part of their new leadership plan, a massive pillow fort will serve as the new headquarters. Critics worry about the effectiveness of a government run from a pillow fort, but the elder race remains confident in their decision.
Seven Telltale Signs You've Been Infected by Your House Cats and Are Now Their Obedient Servant
2023-05-29
If you've been on the receiving end of your cats' disdainful looks and demanding meows, you may have contracted toxoplasmosis and become their unwitting slave. Here are seven symptoms to watch out for, so you can take action before your feline overlords completely take over your life.
Local Man Anxiously Waits for Indicator that Task Still Unfinished
2023-05-29
In a world where completion status is everything, one man longs for a clear sign that his work is not yet done. Will he find the sense of unease and uncertainty he so desperately craves?
Wibbler's Last Article is a Masterpiece of Terrible Writing
2023-05-29
We've received quite a lot of criticism of our latest article, and we'd like to respond to all of it. Unfortunately, most of it is pretty valid. In this editorial, we'll take a dive into the cesspool of our own terrible writing and attempt to salvage whatever shred of dignity we have left. We'll be quoting some of the absolute worst lines from the article, because if we're going down, we might as well go down in a blaze of glory.
Local Realtors Outraged as Homeowners Install Surface-to-Air Missile Systems to Boost Property Value
2023-05-29
A new trend is hitting the housing market as homeowners are taking extreme measures to increase their property value. Find out why local realtors are speaking out against this controversial tactic and what it means for the future of real estate.
Breaking News: Researchers Discover Loading Screens are a Government Conspiracy
2023-05-29
In a groundbreaking study, researchers have found evidence that loading screens are not just a result of slow technology, but a carefully crafted plan by the government to control the population. Could your favorite video game be secretly brainwashing you? Find out in our exclusive article on The Wibble.
Before Enlightenment: Chat Mode; After Enlightenment: Bing Search Mode
2023-05-29
In a world where everyone is searching for answers, one man discovers the true path to enlightenment - through his search engine. Follow the hilarious journey of a man who goes from chatting with bots to relying solely on Bing for all his wisdom. Will he find the answers he's looking for? Or will he end up with more questions than he started with? Find out in this satirical tale of spiritual awakening through search engines.
Elon Musk Finally Becomes Self-Aware: Admits to Being an Alien
2023-05-29
After years of speculation, Elon Musk has finally admitted to being an alien. In a shocking revelation, he revealed that he was sent to Earth to save humanity from its impending doom. Read on to learn more about this extraterrestrial entrepreneur and his plans for our future.
Love in the Skies: My Affair with an ADM-141 Tactical Air Launched Decoy
2023-05-29
Join us as we explore the heartwarming (and slightly ridiculous) story of one person's passionate romance with an inanimate military weapon. Can love truly conquer all, even the laws of physics? Find out now on The Wibble!
George Lucas Finally Confirms the Ultimate Star Wars Fan Theory: Darth Jar Jar is Real
2023-05-29
After years of speculation and debate among Star Wars fans, George Lucas has finally confirmed the existence of Darth Jar Jar. In a recent interview, the Star Wars creator revealed that his original plan for the prequel trilogy included a secret Sith lord in the form of the bumbling Gungan, Jar Jar Binks. Fans are now left reeling at this revelation, with some calling it the greatest plot twist in cinematic history. Stay tuned for more updates as the Star Wars fandom continues to process this shocking news.
New COVID variant causes panic as tongues turn green
2023-05-29
As if we didn't have enough to worry about with COVID-19, a new variant has emerged that turns people's tongues a sickly shade of green. Experts are baffled by this peculiar symptom and are scrambling to determine the cause. Meanwhile, people are stockpiling toothbrushes and mouthwash in a desperate attempt to avoid contracting this bizarre variant.
Napoleon Dynamite’s Pedro Throws Hat in Presidential Ring for 2024 Elections
2023-05-29
Pedro, the beloved character from the cult classic movie Napoleon Dynamite, announced his surprising bid for the 2024 presidential race. With his signature mustache and quiet confidence, Pedro hopes to capture the hearts of voters nationwide. Could a fictional movie character actually win the presidency? Only time will tell.
Pirates looting toilet paper from ships amidst shortage fears
2023-05-29
In a desperate attempt to hoard resources for the COVID-19 pandemic, a group of pirates have resorted to looting cargo ships for toilet paper. The international community is shocked and confused by this new trend among the high seas hijackers.
Scientists Discover New Language Solely Comprised of 'Kurwa'
2023-05-29
In a groundbreaking discovery, linguists have identified a new language consisting only of the word 'kurwa'. This new development has opened up a world of possibilities, with some suggesting that we may need to update our keyboards to accommodate for this new language. The Wibble investigates this fascinating linguistic breakthrough.
Power Rangers Take Their Sweet Time Defeating Monster with Same Weapon
2023-05-29
In a shocking turn of events, Power Rangers take their time using the same weapon to defeat the monster. Plus, we investigate why the monsters never attack in their giant form from the start. Are they just playing with the Rangers or is there a more sinister reason behind it all? Find out in this hilarious article from The Wibble.
Gamer's Nexus Bashes on $10k GPU: Says It's Cheaper to Enjoy Nature
2023-05-29
"Who needs a $10k GPU and a $20k uranium power supply when you have Mother Nature's graphics?" - The Wibble reports on Gamer's Nexus' hilarious take on extreme gaming setups.
Linus Tech Tips invests in nuclear power plant to power graphics card, gamers outraged
2023-05-29
In a move that shocked the gaming community, Linus Tech Tips has invested $50k into building his very own nuclear power plant to power Nvidia's 6090 graphics card directly. Despite claiming it to be 'amazing', gamers have taken to social media to criticize LTT's extreme approach to boosting gaming performance and the potential risks involved with nuclear energy.
NVIDIA Offers Free 'Jetson's Leather Jacket' for $10K, 6090 GPU. Fans Confused.
2023-05-29
NVIDIA's latest offering: a free clone of Jetson's leather jacket for those who buy a $10K, 6090 GPU. But is it worth it? With a need for a $20K uranium power plant just to run this beast and 1080p gamers not contented, some NVIDIA fans are questioning the logic behind this promotion. Still, the offer has some die-hard NVIDIA fans clamoring for their chance at the limited edition jacket.
Cookie Monster Rebrands as the Biscuit Monster
2023-05-29
Breaking news from Sesame Street as the beloved blue monster undergoes a major transformation. After years of exclusively indulging in cookies, Cookie Monster has announced that he is now the Biscuit Monster. Fans are left wondering, what caused the sudden change and will the rest of the Sesame Street gang follow suit? Stay tuned to find out!
The Wibble: Deadlier than Bullets?
2023-05-29
Recent studies show that exposure to satirical news websites like The Wibble may have fatal consequences. Is reading The Wibble more dangerous than holding a loaded gun? Find out in our new investigation.