Local man confused by confusing confusion
2023-05-31
A local man has expressed his confusion regarding a confusing situation that he found confusing. Experts are baffled as to why the confusion is so confusing, but at this point, it's all just a bit too confusing to comprehend.
Bronx Cheer Gone Wrong: Local Man Injured in Failed Attempt to Impress Friends
2023-05-31
In a classic case of too much confidence and not enough skill, a Bronx man recently attempted to show off his ability to execute a perfect Bronx Cheer - only to end up suffering a painful injury. Witnesses report that his embarrassed friends quickly abandoned him at the scene, leaving him to nurse his bruises alone. Find out more about this latest cautionary tale on The Wibble.
Breaking News: Humans Found to Have Originated from Calculator
2023-05-31
In a shocking discovery, scientists have revealed that humans actually arrived on Earth just 16 minutes ago from a distant calculator planet. The revelation has left many in a state of confusion, with some wondering if their entire lives have been a mere computer simulation. Stay tuned to The Wibble for further developments on this groundbreaking story!
Milky Way and Andromeda Join Forces to Build Intergalactic Railway
2023-05-31
In an unprecedented move, the Milky Way and Andromeda Galaxies have set aside their differences and started construction on a railway that will connect the two massive celestial bodies. The project, dubbed the InterGalactic Express, is set to be the largest public works project in the history of the universe. Passengers will be able to travel from one galaxy to the other in just a few short decades, making vacations to other galaxies more accessible than ever before. The railway is expected to boost intergalactic tourism and trade, but critics are already warning of potential delays caused by supernova explosions and uncooperative black holes.
Stephen King named Chief Editor of The Wibble, sources say drugs involved
2023-05-31
In a shocking turn of events, famous horror author Stephen King has been appointed Chief Editor of satirical news website The Wibble. Insider sources report that King's questionable behavior, which includes alleged drug use, may have played a role in his hiring. The Wibble staff remains tight-lipped on the matter, but we can't wait to see what twisted news stories King will conjure up!
Governments of Milky Way and Andromeda Struggle to Agree on Intergalactic Railway Line
2023-05-31
The construction of an intergalactic railway line between the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies has hit a major snag as the two governments are struggling to agree on the route and funding. Sources say negotiations have become heated, with each side accusing the other of withholding resources. Will the project ever come to fruition or will the galaxies remain divided by light years?
God's Failed Attempt to Connect Heaven to Earth's Internet
2023-05-31
After an extensive investigation, The Wibble has uncovered that God tried to connect our internet to heaven. However, due to the strict conditions set by Earth's ISP providers, the attempt failed miserably. Stay tuned for more heavenly updates and internet connectivity issues.
Heaven's Commute: Local Authority Builds Rail Line to Earth
2023-05-31
Residents of Heaven now have a more convenient way to visit their loved ones in Earth, thanks to the local authority's recent construction of a railway line. Find out how this new development is affecting the afterlife's economy and tourism industry, as well as the reactions from both Heaven and Earth's inhabitants.
Heaven and Earth to be Connected by Railway Link
2023-05-31
In a groundbreaking move, the local authority in Heaven has announced plans to construct a railway link with Earth. The project is aimed at improving transportation and promoting inter-planetary tourism. However, skeptics are questioning the logistics of the endeavor, particularly the engineering challenges of building a railway through clouds. Stay tuned for updates on this heavenly development!
Trebuchets: The Cool Old-School Weapon Making a Comeback?
2023-05-31
A look into the sudden resurgence of trebuchets, the medieval catapults that are capturing the attention of hobbyists and enthusiasts alike. From backyard build kits to full-scale replicas, trebuchet fever seems to be spreading. But is it just a passing fad or the start of a medieval revolution? We investigate.
Heaven's Local Authority Buries Plans for Railway Link with Earth
2023-05-31
In soul-crushing news for commuters gearing up for the afterlife, the Heaven local authority has refused to grant permission for the construction of a much-anticipated railway link with Earth. Experts cite concerns over disturbance of deceased residents and potential overcrowding in paradise as the primary reasons for the veto. In an era of unprecedented connectivity and transportation development, looks like even the divine realms are facing infrastructure challenges.
Microsoft Opens Up Windows 11 Source Code, Reveals It Was Just One Long April Fools' Prank
2023-05-31
In a shocking turn of events, Microsoft has announced that they played a massive April Fools' joke by publishing the source code for their newest operating system, Windows 11. The source code is filled with nonsensical comments and references to Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. Users are left bewildered as to what to make of this prank, and whether or not the joke is on them for attempting to decipher the code.
AI Fails to Generate Images for Two News Stories, World Devastated
2023-05-31
In a major blow to journalism, an AI program has reportedly failed to generate appropriate images for not one, but two breaking news stories. The world reacts to the devastating loss.
Mayo Clinic Becomes Mayonnaise Clinic, Embraces Mayonnaise-Based Medicine
2023-05-31
In a surprising move, Mayo Clinic rebrands as Mayonnaise Clinic and starts using mayonnaise as the primary treatment for all medical conditions, from broken bones to cancer. Patients are advised to bring their own jars of mayo for a discount on consultation fees.
New Study Shows Biscuits Are the Leading Cause of Farting!
2023-05-31
Are you tired of blaming your flatulence on your diet? A new study has revealed that biscuits are the real culprits behind all that gas. Find out why they're so gassy and which brands to avoid in this hilarious article on The Wibble!
Local Man Wins Award for Spectating
2023-05-31
In a stunning turn of events, local man Ron Johnson received an award for his expert spectating skills. Johnson credits his success to years of practice, strategic seating arrangements, and knowing when to bring snacks. Learn from the best and read on for tips on how to become a champion spectator.
Swamp desktop search beats Google as top-grossing product
2023-05-31
In a surprising turn of events, an unlikely competitor has emerged as the most lucrative desktop search product, beating out tech giant Google. Find out how this obscure software rose to the top and what this means for the future of the search engine industry.
Local Man Discovers Mysterious Code in URL Slug, Believes It to be Alien Communication
2023-05-31
A local man's hobby of cracking codes led him to a shocking discovery when he stumbled upon a cryptic URL slug while browsing the internet. Convinced that it is a message from extraterrestrial life, he has recruited a group of amateur code-breakers to decipher the mysterious message. Stay tuned for updates on this bizarre story!
Scientists Stunned as Universe Proven to be a One-Dimensional Line
2023-05-31
In a groundbreaking discovery, a group of scientists have confirmed that the universe is nothing more than a single line. The shocking revelation has left the scientific community reeling, as everything they thought they knew about the universe has been turned on its head. The researchers responsible for the discovery are now scrambling to come up with new theories about the nature of the universe, while the rest of us are left wondering how we managed to miss the fact that we're all just living on a really long piece of string.
Scientists Shocked to Discover Color Spectrum Flattened on 2D Plane
2023-05-31
In a breakthrough study, researchers have found that the color spectrum we all know and love is not actually three-dimensional, but instead flat as a pancake. This revelation has shaken the scientific community to its core and raised new questions about the nature of color and our perception of it. Stay tuned for updates on this developing story!