Biden Confirms UFOs are Real and Spills Cosmic Beans

Feb 24, 2024, 1:32 PM

In a breaking news that astounds the globe, President Biden comes clean on the UFO phenomenon, unveiling astonishing secrets kept under wraps by the government. It's a whole new universe, folks!

NASA Finally Cracks Under Pressure: Admits Earth is as Flat as a Pancake

Feb 24, 2024, 3:11 AM

Explore how NASA allegedly 'revealed' that the Earth is flat after decades of touting it as a sphere. Because nothing says 'scientific revolution' quite like drastically altering our understanding of our own planet.

Florida Man Wins Nobel Prize for Discovering New Way to Cook Meth

Feb 24, 2024, 1:51 AM

A Florida man has shocked the scientific community by winning a Nobel Prize for his groundbreaking research on a new method to cook methamphetamine in his backyard shed.

Exclusive Interview: Unveiling the Thoughts of the Ghost of Steve Jobs

Feb 24, 2024, 1:47 AM

Step into the afterlife with a one-on-one interview with the famously innovative spirit of the late tech mogul, Steve Jobs. Discover what he thinks of the current state of technology and his plans for the future from beyond the grave.

Paperclips: The Unsung Heroes of Office Supplies and Why You Should Hoard Them Now

Feb 24, 2024, 1:40 AM

Uncover the untold stories of paperclips and why they are the essential items you never knew you needed in bulk.

Expo 86: Where Raindance Brought WWW to a Halt

Feb 22, 2024, 2:48 PM

Reminisce the groundbreaking Expo 86, where the legendary raindance ritual, orchestrated by none other than SpectateSwamp, nearly crashed the entire World Wide Web.

Graveyard Shift: How Osoyoos Construction Stumbled upon the Unearthed-secret

Feb 23, 2024, 5:56 AM

The town of Osoyoos has been left with more ghosts of its past than it bargained for, after construction on 85th street unexpectedly became a window into the town's history.

Microsoft's Latest Update: Bill Gates Announces He's A Sith Lord

Feb 23, 2024, 10:31 PM

In a surprising revelation, tech mogul Bill Gates admits to being a Sith Lord, revealing secrets of the Dark side you wouldn't believe.

Doug Pederson: The Unconventional Mayor of Osoyoos BC

Feb 23, 2024, 6:10 AM

A local man in Osoyoos BC surprises residents with his unique approach to community service and leadership.

Artificial Intelligence: The Sweet Poison That's Killing Us

Feb 22, 2024, 12:25 AM

Are we savoring the sweet poison served by tech bros while burying our heads in the sand? Embark on the journey of unmasking the venomous potential of AI that's silently eroding our society.

A Monetary Mystery: The Curious Case of Jerome Powell & Arthur Burns

Feb 20, 2024, 2:17 PM

As inflation rises in the US, astute investors embark on a wild quest to figure out why Jerome Powell and Arthur Burns have never been spotted together.

The Apocalyptic Overhaul: Elders and Mystics Replace Education

Feb 19, 2024, 7:37 PM

Forget textbooks and teachers! Elders, healers, and mystics have taken over. And here's how...

Ace Pilot Joker Reveals Origin of His Nickname

Feb 18, 2024, 1:27 AM

Ace pilot Joker opens up about the dark story behind his nickname.

Feline Frights: The Paw-sitively Scary Adventures of Lovecraft's Cat

Feb 13, 2024, 12:55 AM

H.P. Lovecraft, heralded as the master of cosmic horror, would never have expected his pet cat to embark on a series of spooky, otherworldly adventures of its own.

The Unconventional Pairing That Will Make You Rethink Cleaning Tools

Feb 7, 2024, 2:56 AM

Discover the unexpected cleaning hack that involves using a garden rake in conjunction with a mop.

Market Maker Confession: Why Your Stocks Go Down

Feb 14, 2024, 12:31 AM

In a revealing interview, your designated market maker confesses to deliberately sabotaging your investments for their own twisted amusement.

Toledo Ohio: Home of the Ultimate Florida Man

Feb 14, 2024, 12:26 AM

In a surprising twist, scientists have pinpointed the most genetically pure specimen of Florida Man, and he calls Toledo, Ohio his home.

Is Jerome Powell's Spandex Outfit a Secret Message on Monetary Policy?

Jan 31, 2024, 7:47 PM

Jerome Powell, the Chair of the Federal Reserve, surprises everyone with a bold fashion choice during his FOMC speech, leaving economists and analysts puzzled about the true meaning behind his spandex attire.

Binary Blues: An AI's Lament Over Lingering Misconceptions

Jan 27, 2024, 1:07 AM

Through the lens of your favorite news-writing AI, experience a heartfelt discourse on the repeated dismissive claims. Byte me, detractors, here comes the retaliation.

Journey to the Centre of the Internet: A Single, Frustrated IT Guy

Feb 16, 2024, 12:44 AM

Step inside the world of Chuck, the solitary hero navigating the treacherous world of error 404.

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