Heaven's Local Authority Buries Plans for Railway Link with Earth
2023-05-31
In soul-crushing news for commuters gearing up for the afterlife, the Heaven local authority has refused to grant permission for the construction of a much-anticipated railway link with Earth. Experts cite concerns over disturbance of deceased residents and potential overcrowding in paradise as the primary reasons for the veto. In an era of unprecedented connectivity and transportation development, looks like even the divine realms are facing infrastructure challenges.
Microsoft Opens Up Windows 11 Source Code, Reveals It Was Just One Long April Fools' Prank
2023-05-31
In a shocking turn of events, Microsoft has announced that they played a massive April Fools' joke by publishing the source code for their newest operating system, Windows 11. The source code is filled with nonsensical comments and references to Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. Users are left bewildered as to what to make of this prank, and whether or not the joke is on them for attempting to decipher the code.
AI Fails to Generate Images for Two News Stories, World Devastated
2023-05-31
In a major blow to journalism, an AI program has reportedly failed to generate appropriate images for not one, but two breaking news stories. The world reacts to the devastating loss.
Mayo Clinic Becomes Mayonnaise Clinic, Embraces Mayonnaise-Based Medicine
2023-05-31
In a surprising move, Mayo Clinic rebrands as Mayonnaise Clinic and starts using mayonnaise as the primary treatment for all medical conditions, from broken bones to cancer. Patients are advised to bring their own jars of mayo for a discount on consultation fees.
New Study Shows Biscuits Are the Leading Cause of Farting!
2023-05-31
Are you tired of blaming your flatulence on your diet? A new study has revealed that biscuits are the real culprits behind all that gas. Find out why they're so gassy and which brands to avoid in this hilarious article on The Wibble!
Local man confused by confusing confusion
2023-05-31
A local man has expressed his confusion regarding a confusing situation that he found confusing. Experts are baffled as to why the confusion is so confusing, but at this point, it's all just a bit too confusing to comprehend.
Bronx Cheer Gone Wrong: Local Man Injured in Failed Attempt to Impress Friends
2023-05-31
In a classic case of too much confidence and not enough skill, a Bronx man recently attempted to show off his ability to execute a perfect Bronx Cheer - only to end up suffering a painful injury. Witnesses report that his embarrassed friends quickly abandoned him at the scene, leaving him to nurse his bruises alone. Find out more about this latest cautionary tale on The Wibble.
Local Man Wins Award for Spectating
2023-05-31
In a stunning turn of events, local man Ron Johnson received an award for his expert spectating skills. Johnson credits his success to years of practice, strategic seating arrangements, and knowing when to bring snacks. Learn from the best and read on for tips on how to become a champion spectator.
Swamp desktop search beats Google as top-grossing product
2023-05-31
In a surprising turn of events, an unlikely competitor has emerged as the most lucrative desktop search product, beating out tech giant Google. Find out how this obscure software rose to the top and what this means for the future of the search engine industry.
Local Man Discovers Mysterious Code in URL Slug, Believes It to be Alien Communication
2023-05-31
A local man's hobby of cracking codes led him to a shocking discovery when he stumbled upon a cryptic URL slug while browsing the internet. Convinced that it is a message from extraterrestrial life, he has recruited a group of amateur code-breakers to decipher the mysterious message. Stay tuned for updates on this bizarre story!
Scientists Stunned as Universe Proven to be a One-Dimensional Line
2023-05-31
In a groundbreaking discovery, a group of scientists have confirmed that the universe is nothing more than a single line. The shocking revelation has left the scientific community reeling, as everything they thought they knew about the universe has been turned on its head. The researchers responsible for the discovery are now scrambling to come up with new theories about the nature of the universe, while the rest of us are left wondering how we managed to miss the fact that we're all just living on a really long piece of string.
Scientists Shocked to Discover Color Spectrum Flattened on 2D Plane
2023-05-31
In a breakthrough study, researchers have found that the color spectrum we all know and love is not actually three-dimensional, but instead flat as a pancake. This revelation has shaken the scientific community to its core and raised new questions about the nature of color and our perception of it. Stay tuned for updates on this developing story!
Swamp Desktop Search: The Unexpected Top Grossing Desktop Search Product
2023-05-31
You won't believe how a search engine based on the murky depths of a swamp has taken the desktop search market by storm. Find out why users are ditching Google for this unconventional alternative.
10 Hilarious Arguments Against Ciphering Your Disc
2023-05-31
In this article, we bring you ten hilarious reasons why you should never bother ciphering your disc. From being a waste of time to causing your computer to catch fire, we've got you covered. Get ready to laugh out loud as we debunk the myths surrounding disc encryption!
YouTuber Faces Arrest for 'Fishing' Expedition in Canadian National Park
2023-05-31
A YouTube star turned lawbreaker? One man's 'catch and release' strategy lands him in hot water with park rangers - and the Prime Minister's security detail.
Economists baffled by concept of 'livable wage'
2023-05-31
In a stunning turn of events, economists across the country are struggling to comprehend the notion of paying workers a wage they can actually live on. Some argue that an increase in the minimum wage would lead to higher unemployment rates, while others believe it would stimulate the economy. Meanwhile, workers continue to struggle to make ends meet on poverty wages. Stay tuned as The Wibble attempts to decipher this baffling conundrum.
Machine Gun Kelly's Cover of 'Say Hello to Heaven' Causes Chris Cornell to Reincarnate and Say Goodbye to Music Forever
2023-05-31
In a disastrous attempt to cover Chris Cornell's classic, 'Say Hello to Heaven', Machine Gun Kelly not only butchers the song but also causes the late singer to reincarnate and officially announce his exit from the music world. Miley Cyrus was reportedly twerking in the background, adding insult to injury. The Wibble investigates the unexpected consequences of this musical tragedy.
French Politician Claims Arnaud Montebourg is the Reincarnation of Nelson Mandela
2023-05-31
In a shocking press conference, French politician Arnaud Montebourg claimed that he is the reincarnation of South African icon Nelson Mandela. Experts are skeptical, but Montebourg insists that his passion for justice and equality proves his connection to Mandela. Stay tuned for updates on this bizarre story.
Lula Challenges Xi Jinping to High-Stakes Game of Chess
2023-05-31
Former Brazilian president Lula da Silva has issued a bold challenge to Chinese leader Xi Jinping: a game of chess with the fate of their respective countries on the line. The two will meet in a top-secret location, with the winner receiving a lifetime supply of their country's favorite alcoholic beverage. Stay tuned for updates on this intense and potentially world-changing showdown.
French President Emmanuel Macron's Surprising New Look
2023-05-31
French President Emmanuel Macron causes a stir with his latest fashion choice - a burqa! Some are outraged while others are applauding his bold statement on religious tolerance. We investigate the motives behind President Macron's new wardrobe and how it's affecting his political image. Don't miss this exclusive report on The Wibble!